With the last season of Entourage finally over, it seems like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Although no one might want to admit it, we’ve all been waiting for this moment for about 3 or 4 years now. Come on, you know the show hasn’t been good since Medellin bombed. Unfortunately, we’re about to go into overtime: Creator Doug Ellin has already acknowledged the existence of an Entourage movie in the near future. What will the plot be? Well, we have 5 possible storylines for your enjoyment.
The “The Hangover” Plot
Before Vince gets married, he goes on one last hurrah with the boys (sans E) in Paris. But trouble brews when Drama accidentally doses everyone with rufies, and they wake up the next morning with no knowledge of last night, and no idea where Vince is. They attempt to piece together the night and find the groom: Turtle got married to a hooker, Ari pulled out a tooth, naked Asian gangster, Mike Tyson, Vince is on the roof the whole time. You know the drill for this one. Let’s move on.
The “Wild Hogs” Plot
Vince, E, Drama, and Turtle finally go their separate ways and 20 years pass before they decide to meet up again to take a motorcycle trip from New York to California. Along the way they get in all sorts of good ol’ fashioned shenanigans, messing with other motorcycle gangs and whatnot, and it makes them all feel like children again. When they get to California, they throw Ari’s ashes in the Pacific ocean, as per his wishes before he died (didn’t see that coming, did ya?).
The “The Blue Lagoon” Plot
E and Sloane crash on a desert island, where they build a house out of reeds and palm trees, live off the fat of the land, and raise their child as a savage island baby. E gets a sunburn. Sloane looks hot and naked, all the time. Vince, Turtle, and Drama spend 10 years searching for the lost lovers, and all but give up hope when the family washes up to shore on a jerry-rigged raft. Then Vince decides to have a movie made about their lives starring his brother, directed by Billy Walsh.
The “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” Plot
After living with each other most of their lives, Drama and Turtle decide that they might as well get married, for tax reasons. They have a small ceremony in New York, but it’s not long before they get investigated for fraud. Drama falls in love with some hot lawyer, but risks ruining his marriage if he tells her he’s not gay, and Turtle gets all sensitive and attached to Drama. Ultimate bromance moment at the end when they announce to the court that they love each other, as BFFs.
The “Every Season of Entourage” Plot
This should be obvious: Vince gets stood up at the altar, and as a result goes on a drug and sex-fueled bender across Europe, dragging Turtle (who lost his $4 million dollars in Dom Pepe’s) and Drama (whose show was canceled due to bad ratings, no thanks to Dice) along for the ride. Sloane finds out she’s not pregnant, and then E gets angry at her for no clear reason. They break up but still have feelings for each other. Ari becomes a studio head (come on, they already hinted at that one) and his wife wants to divorce him…again. Scotty Lavin continues being the man.