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A New Paltzer’s Response To Huffington Post’s Top 10 Hipster Schools

 hipsters

Hipster: one of the biggest, wide-ranging, and most pretentiously lame movements in trend history. Still though, it is a big trend, and huge trends live at college. It happened in the 60′s with The Hippie Movement, and in the 70′s with The Disco Movement, and now some colleges have managed to become Hipster standouts. Huffington Post has taken it upon themselves to rank the Top Hipster Schools from 1 to 10. All the best ones are on there, except, my Alma Mater, and Hipster Paradise, SUNY New Paltz. This is unacceptable.

Huffington’s list has all the Hipsterish Schools of fame, including Portland State University, University of Cali at Santa Cruz, and Brown University. Ever see one of those bumper stickers that says “Keep Portland Weird?” Well Portland is weird enough where no one has to actively keep it that way. The town features 4 different Mexican places that specialize in interesting Burritos, and is famous for it’s Library Studies Degree. If you’re a Librarian that raves about Tofu, Cilantro, Avocado Burritos, you might be a Hipster.

keep portland weird

As for Brown, the country’s most Elite Hipster College, they have Harry Potter hottie Emma Watson in attendance, and Lisa Loeb is an alumni. Not to mention it’s location in Rhode Island which I hear is cawling with them this time of year. Oh, and then there’s University of California-Santa Cruz, the former breeding ground for the Hippie Generation that now serves the same purpose for their “active” yet entitled children. Try to swing a stick in that town without hitting a pair of Aviators attached to a Banana Seat Bicycle.

Good list, but not great. Why? Because they left out SUNY New Paltz. I went to Suny New Paltz, Huffington Post, and It could go toe to toe with any of those schools. Not only is our Mayor a 34 year old member of The Green Party, but in 2004 when he was a 27 year old Mayor, he took it upon himself to start marrying Gay Couples…before it was cool (and legal). Picture yourself walking down a mile of road, and passing 5 separate coffee shops and 3 organic food stores. Not to mention at least 10 Mom and Pop owned clothing shops, all of which sell skateboards.

jason west

Did I mention 5 coffee shops? I should mention that one of those coffee shops, called The Muddy Cup, was protested while being built because residents couldn’t stand the idea of a big corporate chain sucking the charm out of their Mom and Pop town. Have you ever heard of a big coffee chain called The Muddy Cup? Yeah, thought so. In the mood for Italian food? Check out “Rock Da Pasta” with such dishes as “David Bowtie Seafood Alfredo” and “Stevie Ray-Violi.” Ice Cream? Don’t expect to get it off a truck. New Paltz residents ran the Ice Cream Man out of a town for attempting to pollute their children’s bodies with unnatural sugars and High-Fructose Corn Syrup.

Bike Shop? Check. Bakery? It’s called “The Bakery.” Farmer’s Market? Check. Liberal Arts Sensibilities? My friend graduated with a Bachelors of Science in Biology. He was one of 4 others.  So Huffington Post, next time you plan on doing something Hipster-Related, make sure to travel a couple of hours upstate and check out charming little SUNY New Paltz. They’re big fans there, so you will be welcomed with open arms. After all, they are one of the Top 10 Hipster Schools in the country….indisputable!

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