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Snooki, JWoww and Pauly D Getting Spin-off Shows on MTV

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Jersey Shore

After hearing about the potential death of “Jersey Shore,” many fans were up in arms, freaking out about what they would do without their beloved guidos and guidettes. Over here at the Campus Socialite, we were taking bets about who would get a spin-off show and who would eventually fade into the background, accepting their 15 minutes of fame had ended. Since I am the only person here who does not watch America’s beloved show, I promise I won’t bash the show as much as I have in past articles, and will instead just tell you that all you “Jersey Shore” lovers can relax. MTV announced Thursday afternoon that Snooki, JWoww and Pauly D will indeed be getting their own shows, both to premiere in 2012.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

4 Illegal Actions You Won’t Be Arrested For On a Private College Campus

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Why is it when I see one of my friends do something on campus that would be considered illegal in the “Real World,” I write it off as something totally normal? In the so-called “Real World,” my self-righteous self would think that stealing, not obeying traffic laws, and using illicit drugs is wrong. But at college, whether something is illegal, or even immoral,  seems to be subjective. I should mention that I go to school at a private school, which essentially means that the only thing close to police surveillance we have is something known as public safety, an institution with less power of enforcement than my mother. For them to actually do anything, they would have to call the real cops, and fortunately for you, they aren’t going to. If you go to a State School on the other hand, you are not only dealing with real Police, but State Police. Needless to say, this article does not apply to you State Schoolers, because you will be arrested just the same as anywhere else. But, for all you Private Schoolers out there, here’s a list of 4 illegal actions you’d be fucked for in the “real world,” but can and will get away with on your College Campus.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

The Girl Chart: College Girls Neatly Categorized

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hot girls sex

Girls at college are all very different from one another.  Many are at college to get a great education, and become successful women in a post suffrage world.  According to my own research however, for every one girl who is trying to get an education, there’s about seven to eight girls who are there to get wild and crazy… great odds.  These  are those girls who go to college in order to drink their faces off, spend all of daddy’s money, and find a potentially rich husband.  Unlucky enough for me, I do not have money… and probably will not for quite some time.  Now, this blog may either cause the female population to absolutely hate me, or absolutely love me, depending on where you are categorized.  At college there are many, many different kinds of girls who all fall into particular categories of what I like to call “The Girl Chart.”

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

The Five Stages of a Clinger

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Stage five clingers are the worst fucking experience anybody could possibly endure.  They are constantly hooked onto you, and annoying as shit.  Now, while “stage five clinger” is the usual terminology, you have to assume that there are four other levels preceding it. I have broken down all needy girls into stages of clingers from one to five. Keep in mind that these are all clingy girls of varying intensity – so don’t expect stage one to be “the perfect woman.” Although constant attention from a girl is pretty hot, there is a certain line that you do not cross.  Use this as a guide to find out if a recent or future hookup is a clinger…you will be forever grateful.

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EntertainmentHofstra University

Snooki Paid More Than Toni Morrison? A Rant About Modern Society’s Downfall

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Snooki at Rutgers

What is this country coming to? I’m probably the only person of my generation to not surrender to the guilty pleasure of watching “Jersey Shore.” At least, I know I’m the only person at the Campus Socialite. But even avid fans and watchers must agree with me when I say these people are disgusting human beings who get paid to flash their beavers on TV and act completely ridiculous. Even if you love this show, it doesn’t mean you respect these people as human beings. It merely means you enjoy watching their despise with your friends from the safety of your own home, knowing you will never have to meet these people. Or if you do happen to meet them, you will certainly bring some condoms. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The real issue here is that Snooki got paid more than Toni Morrison to speak at Rutgers. Read more after the jump.

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Hofstra UniversitySex and Relationships

When You Should Stop Having Standards

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Hot woman with ugly guy

Something I’ve been thinking about lately, as I trudge through this dry spell, is at what point do I lower my standards? Or do they just gradually lower themselves as the horniness becomes too much to bear? I think the same thing goes for guys as for girls. We walk along, go to parties, check out who we find attractive, and hope they find us attractive, too. But what if they don’t? I used to have game but at this point, I just think it sort of disappeared. Sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

Hometown Fiesta

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When everyone was in high school, all the girls wanted to get with the older college guys who showed up and the guys wanted to be the older college guys. Well, my boys and I were those lucky college guys about a year ago today. About a year ago, I got a call from a friend back home that there was a crazy party coming up and that I needed to go. I said only if I can bring my boys with me and they told me fuck it, it’s not their house…great! My boys and I go to my house and start pre-gaming with some shots of Strawberry Vodka and shotgunning some ice cold Bud Lights. When we’re all set and done, we depart to what will eventually be one of the greatest nights of my life.

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Hofstra UniversityLifestyle

JP Rose’s Sober Goggles

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Being sober at a bar is fucking awful.  Everybody is drinking and laughing and doing shit they normally wouldn’t do while I sit there and watch. People are drinking Captain and Cokes, Four Lokos, beers, and I’m drinking a Goddamn Aquafina like a fool. You should see the face of the bartenders when you ask for a water…They look like they want to hurt you.  It’s like asking a gourmet, five-star chef for chicken nuggets…you just don’t do it. Either way, I was designated driver the other night while my friends got plastered and I was like, “what the fuck am I going to do?”  The solution: People watch.  I decided to watch from the eyes of a sober person what happens at a bar…and boy do I have some stories for you.

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EntertainmentHofstra University

The Corruptive Power of 90s Television on the Male Psyche

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saved by the bell

Guys of our generation are known for being excessively sexual and chauvinistic. We expect a lot from our women, and when they don’t meet our expectations, we move on without remorse or regret. Well, for all of the girls who blame us, and the guys who want to justify their douchebag behavior, I have finally figured out what turned us into the sex-crazed assholes that we are today. 90’s television.

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EntertainmentHofstra University

The Importance Of The Perfect Sex Playlist

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ihome

You just brought a girl back to your room, and things got heavy pretty fast. You’re ready to have sex, and want to put on the perfect background music. You put your iPod on shuffle, and to your dismay, the first song that comes on is Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” Before you can make a desperate attempt to change the song, your date’s clothes are back on and she’s walking out the door, snickering. This, my foolish friend, was entirely preventable.

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