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Morning Wood

Hot-or-Not Trends: Long Dresses

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The trend toward the maxi dress isn’t just for red-carpet walkers; anyone can get in on this trend with the right dress style and a cute pair of wedges. Perfect for summer, these long dresses are great for beach-wear, barbecues, or lounging in the park with a good book.

But where did this maxi trend come from, and is it going anywhere soon?

History of the maxi dress

If you go back to pre-Christian-era style — which fashion bloggers rarely do — you’ll find a slew of maxi styles that are related primarily to a conservative view of the female body. Ancient Roman women wore long stolas — typically sleeveless maxi dresses made of cotton or light fabric — that fell to just above the ankle, and accompanying shoulder wraps.

All in all, these were not all that different from what today’s red carpet celebrities wear on a chilly afternoon.

Fast-forward to the women’s rights movement, and you’ll still see the long flowing skirts and dresses worn by the hippies of the 1970s — proof that this trend has very little to do with covering the body, and a lot more to do with the summery, flowery vibe and light, unrestricted feel that accompanies the right maxi dress.

It’s no wonder, then, that celebrities and trend-spotters are buying out maxi dresses like they are going out of style. But fret not, a quick look at history both modern and ancient makes it quite obvious they aren’t headed out of style anytime soon.

How to buy the right dress

One of the first steps to finding the right maxi dress is to shop around. Don’t disdain the style if you can’t find one that’s just right in the first store you walk into.

Like jeans, different brands sell dresses for different lengths and sizes, and to fit different body types. The key is to know which colors, patterns, and fabrics look good on your body, and shop accordingly.

Petite women shouldn’t worry: If you find a maxi that is a few inches too long, get it hemmed! Or consider a great pair of heels to match your free-flowing little number. Most maxi dresses are made for women of average to above-average heights, so petite women may need to find stores that cater to their height range, or a good tailor, in order to rock this style.

At the end of the day there’s a maxi for everyone, whether you are 4′ 8″ or 6′ 2″. Maxi dresses are slimming, stylish, can be dressed up or down, and are more comfortable and breezy than even the best pair of summery shorts. So come on ladies, head out to the mall, the downtown shops, or wherever you go. If the celebrities can rock it, so can you.

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Instagram Wood

How to flirt: Guys

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Okay boys, as a lady, I’m making it my duty to end all the pathetic pick-up lines (unless you’re Ryan Gosseling, then you can use any damn pick-up line you want), and set you straight.

First, I’m begging you to stop trying to get our attention by treating us like dogs.  Whistling, and screaming “eyyyy!” at us immediately makes our skin crawl.  Be genuine, and be a gentleman; just by doing those things alone you’ll have panties dropping in no time.  But there are other things you can do, and things to avoid when trying to pick-up on a chick.

 

Here are common attempts at picking-up women, why they don’t work, and what you should do instead:

 

1. You see a hottie out on the dance floor at the club.  You decide to say “hello” by surprise attacking her from behind by grinding your boner all over her ass.

 

This is wrong because if she didn’t have clothes on, this would be considered a rape which is typically frowned upon.

 

What you should do instead is:  Watch to see if she’s looking around at any other guys – if she is, she’s probably open to flirting, if she’s not and she’s surrounded by thirty girlfriends, it’s a girl’s night…don’t interrupt.  If she keeps glancing at you – score!  Go ask her if she wants to dance, or go dance near her and see if she gets closer.  If she says “yes,” follow her lead.

 

2. You’re out walking and see the woman of your dreams.  You awkwardly begin to follow her, and finally work up the nerve to curl your finger at her in the “come here” motion.

 

This is wrong because you look like a complete creep, and she fears being hacked up and stuffed inside your freezer.

 

What you should do instead:  It’s okay to follow for a little, but suck it up and say something.  I know it’s hard, but so is passing up the love of your life.  Confidence is so underrated.  You don’t have to be Rico Suave, but just talk to her; she’ll give you major points for having the balls.  Give it to her straight – “Hi, you’re very pretty, can I walk with you? /wanna grab some coffee? /go on a date some time?” try to plan something right away like ice cream or coffee, checking out a local park.  The sooner, the better, don’t give her time to talk herself out of anything.

 

3. You’re at a bar and spot someone you’d like to get to know.  You walk up loudly saying “heeeey! wnna takeashotsvitsmeh?” put your arm around her, order a shot and shove it at her.

 

This is wrong because this is what every single drunk guy does.  It’s like that annoying hum you hear in old buildings that you gradually become accustomed to.  By doing this, she won’t take you seriously, think you’re arrogant, and also think you wanna get her black-out drunk so you can date rape her.

 

What you should do instead: Play it cool, confidence is great, but tone it down, and definitely don’t touch.  Ask her what a good drink is; it’s a non-threatening question, and it opens up conversation since it’s a question.  Ask her if she needs another drink.  Be honest and tell her you’re new here and are trying to meet cool people.

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Morning Wood

Simone Starr

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The former Ed Hardy model over a month ago had to flee to Sydney, Australia after allegedly running a drug ring. Either way, Simone Starr still looks pretty fine in a bathing suit.

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Morning Wood

Kelly Brook

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Kelly Brook on the sand and near the ocean makes grown men everywhere weep. She looks so hot in the sun, and luckily for us summer is just around the corner!

 

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Morning Wood

Ashley Tisdale

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I’m not actually sure what she’s famous for other than being ridiculous hot. Ashley Tisdale somehow has over 6 million Twitter followers thanks to pictures like these.

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Morning Wood

Margie Viljoen

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Margie Viljoen is a South African model who also turns records on the side. As good as she might be as a DJ, she’s probably way better at giving BJ’s.

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Morning Wood

Vanessa Marcil

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Vanessa Marcil is absolutely stunning at 43 years young. Can’t say I’m a big fan of her acting, but I’m a huge fan of her body. Oh how I wish I was that chair.

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