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It Sucks To Be The Other Michael Jordan

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxBBN3ZnYeU&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

ESPN adds another hysterical commercial to its growing list with this unique spin on Michael Jordan. They probably couldn’t book MJ to come down to Bristol, Connecticut because let’s face it; we only see Jordan now in Hanes commercials. Instead they cleverly used an average guy who happens to share the same name. Normally you would assume it’s awesome to have the exact name as a living legend. By the same token, ESPN shows us some of the reasons why it may not be as cool as originally thought. There isn’t even a reference to the Charlotte Bobcats. Enjoy the It’s Not Crazy, It’s Sports ad.

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Sports

Mikhail Prokhorov Needs Help With The Nets And Now Trash Talking

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Mikhail Prokhorov is desperately trying to build a basketball team Net fans can be proud of. So far no luck, as the second year of his five year window of a guaranteed NBA championship comes to an end. At least Rex Ryan has been able to somewhat back up his ridiculous antics. (2 out of 3 years in the AFC Championship game) Prokhorov is still waiting to sniff the playoffs. It’s not entirely Prokhorov’s fault, although he did hire GM Billy King who traded away a lottery pick for Gerald Wallace. Of course Superman in the form of Dwight Howard can still save this franchise, however Howard resigned with the Magic for one more season making the move to Brooklyn more unlikely.

Than there’s Deron Williams, the only redeemable quality about the entire franchise. Williams is a free agent at the end of the season, and it remains a strong possibility that he heads back home to sign with Dallas. Prokhorov’s threat to Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban for potentially snagging him, “I will crush him in a kickboxing throw-down.”

Really that’s the best trash talk Prokhorov’s could come up with; a kickboxing throw-down. Maybe that’s big in Russia, but Cuban can’t possibly be scared of stealing Williams off the free agent market from Prokhorov after listening to that type of comment. I hope Cuban retaliates with a WWE proposition, steel caged match. That would at least be amusing to watch. Somebody needs to tell Prokhorov to go worry about his own club rather than making stupid ass comments directed at the coolest billionaire owner in all of sports besides Magic Johnson.

 

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Sports

Useless Predictions: NHL Playoffs 2012

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I have said it before and I will say it again: Predicting anything is absolutely useless. Watching ESPN amounts to the closest real life manifestation of The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie that exists in the world today. We have, of course, very recently waded through the deepest and widest river of shit that is sport prognostication: March Madness. Oh, I’m sorry Doug Gottlieb, have those years of trying to suck your own dick given you the gift of prescience? No? That’s what I thought. Kindly go jack off to more meaningless statistics about 18 year olds and leave us the fuck alone. Anyways, the NHL Playoffs are coming up! Let me tell you who I think is going to win:

Eastern Conference

(1) New York Rangers vs. (8) Ottawa Senators

Watching the HBO Special 24/7: Rangers vs. Capitals this year gave me a newfound respect for Rangers coach John Tortorella. He is basically what I imagine and desire every NHL coach to be; that is, a more vulgar and meaner hybrid of Paul Newman in Slap Shot and Emilio Estevez in Mighty Ducks. Then he earned my respect even more after their recent game with Shittsburgh by saying, “It’s a cheap, dirty hit. I wonder what would happen if we did it to their two whining stars over there?” Overall, fuck the Rangers, but goddamnit, thank you Mr. Tortorella. Rangers in five.

(2) Boston Bruins vs. (7) Washington Capitals

Hi, my name is Jake, I live in Boston and I’m a Bruins fan. OK, now that we have gotten that nastiness out of the way, we can move on to more important issues: The loss of Tuukka Rask. This sucks because it prolongs the waning of the spotlight on Tim Thomas, undoubtedly the biggest douchebag in sports. OK that’s an exaggeration, but remember his exceedingly retarded comments in light of the B’s visit to the White House and his less-than-respectful rejection of Barack’s invite. (Here for those of you who forget.) His career continues due to his rightful protégé’s injury. I bet Timmy thinks George Zimmerman is innocent. Get fucked with the blade of your goalie stick. Anyways, my girlfriend is a Caps fan, so regardless of how this series goes I get fucked, and not in the good way. Bruins in seven.

(3) Florida Panthers vs. (6) New Jersey Devils

Are New Jersey and Florida the worst states in the union? It’s hard to argue that they are, or at least form a trinity of fucktardery with Ohio. No matter who wins this series, everyone who lives in the other 47 states does. Devils in six.

(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (5) Philadelphia Flyers

This series will be beautiful and I can guarantee you that. The amount of bloodshed will make the producers of Game of Thrones look like pussies for having that infanticide occur off-screen in the first episode of this season. Even with significant injuries for Philly, their tenacity will push the Penguins about as far as their labia will stretch. No vaginal tears for the Pens though, they win in six.

Western Conference

(1) Vancouver Canucks vs. (8) Los Angeles Kings

I hope the Canucks make it all the way to the finals just so they can lose again and Vancouver looks like Watts ’65 for the second year in a row. In all fairness to the Canucks fans who rioted last year: The fact they wake up every day, realize they do indeed still live in Vancouver and then do not riot is a borderline miracle of self restraint on par with Jerry Sandusky keeping his pants on at a daycare center with no other adults nearby. Canucks in four.

(2) St. Louis Blues vs. (7) San Jose Sharks

This matchup is great in that both teams play exactly the way you would expect them to, even though they have few players who are actually from Missouri or California. (Possibly none, but I am too lazy to look it up.) The Blues look like they just escaped East St. Louis in some shitty remake of The Warriors. The Sharks play hockey like you would expect Californians to: Blasé, bored and disinterested, yet still incredibly streamlined and sexy. Finesse is the key. They are basically a Bret Easton Ellis novel on ice. Blues in five.

(3) Phoenix Coyotes vs. (6) Chicago Blackhawks

Phoenix is that guy/girl you know who has no redeemable qualities, yet also has nothing to dislike about him/her. You, and everyone you know, neither hate him/her nor desire his/her friendship. Yet for some reason, there he/she is at every party you go to. The Blackhawks are that dude who probably has a drinking problem but he’s such a blast when wasted, you are willing to overlook it. Blackhawks in six.

(4) Nashville Predators vs. (5) Detroit Red Wings

The Red Wings’ home winning streak was probably the biggest NHL story this season outside of Sidney Crosby’s various concussions. So it is bad news for Detroit that they only get three games at home in this series, especially given that they are as inept on the road as they are spectacular at home. They only need to channel their home selves for one game in Nashville though, and I don’t think that is too much to ask from what amounts to the slightly superior team in this matchup. Red Wings in seven.

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Sports

Louis Oosthuizen and Bubba Watson’s Ridiculous Shots From The Masters

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92WJFCpCFDg[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkPSJ7qQ8h4[/youtube]

Sunday at the Masters is typically an excellent day of television whether you like the sport or not. Yesterday did not disappoint, with compelling drama taking over at Augusta. Two amazing swings were the talk of the tournament. Pardon the Interruption’s Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon will certainly be debating which shot was better. The first was by South African Louis Oosthuizen hitting a double eagle on the par 5 second hole. The other was Bubba Watson’s shot from the woods on number ten during the sudden death playoffs. I give the edge to Watson simply because his shot won him the Green Jacket though a double eagle isn’t something to take lightly. In case you missed it or simply wanted to relive the moments, watch both shots once again. Let the debate begin.

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Sports

Special Campus Socialite MMA T Shirt Contest Powered by RYU

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Tonight on MTV2 and Spike.com Ben Askren will be stepping into the cage to defend his Bellator Welterweight title against Douglas Lima!

…and YOU can win the very shirt he will be walking down to the cage!

Ben will be representing RYU, a very cool new clothing company dedicated to the warrior ethic! RYU is teaming up with The Campus Socialite to give away ONE BEN ASKREN WALKOUT SHIRT to whoever wins this contest! TO ENTER THE CONTEST EMAIL Scott@ShotofYager.COM with your info and why YOU deserve to win the T Shirt and ONE winner will be selected at RANDOM! Read more about RYU below!

Built for Athletes, Suited for Style, RYU’s debut men’s premium performance line embodies the art of the sport and places emphasis on respect, strength, honor and sustainability as the foundation of their apparel and products. All of the apparel items and products have been produced from organic and/or recycled materials utilizing some of the best yarn and fabric suppliers in the world while achieving the performance attributes desired by Mixed Martial Arts fighters and the true everyday athlete.

For more information visit RYU or call +1-888-455-6183 ext. 101.

Airing live on MTV2 (and in HD on EPIX) at 8:00 p.m. EST, Askren has a 9-0-0 MMA win/loss/draw record, is a former amateur wrestler for the University of Missouri and was a member of the 2008 U.S. Olympic Wrestling Team at the 2008 Summer Olympics Athens. At the University of Missouri, Askren was a two-time NCAA Division I National Champion in 2006 and 2007, a two-time NCAA Division I National Finalist in 2004 and 2005 and received NCAA Division I All-American Awards from 2004-2007.

Following his collegiate career, Askren was the USA Senior Freestyle National Champion in 2008, the Senior Freestyle Olympic Team Trials Winner in 2008 and in 2012 was inducted into the University of Missouri Intercollegiate Athletics Hall of Fame. Askren made his professional MMA debut in 2009 and became the Bellator Season 2 Welterweight Tournament Winner in 2010.

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Sports

MLB 2012 Preview

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The season technically began a week ago in Japan. MLB dumb-assess apparently couldn’t schedule the Oakland A’s vs. Seattle Mariners this week when every other baseball team started playing? Regardless, this is the time of year when every fan has a legit chance to brag about their team’s chances. Even Met fans can dream big. Hope is the operative word because every team starts with a clean slate. Last year was just that… last year. The defending champion St. Louis Cardinals won last night. Who knows what their future holds though without slugger Albert Pujols. Prince Fielder signed with the Detroit Tigers. The addition of Jose Reyes and others have helped infuse a new culture in Miami. The Red Sox brought in controversial manager Bobby Valentine to stop Jon Lester and the rest of the team from getting drunk and eating fried chicken in the clubhouse. All of these acquisitions and more should make this season highly entertaining. Here’s my take on the winners from each division and the 2 wildcards from both leagues.

AL East- New York Yankees

The only thing that can stop the Yankees are injuries. An amazing batting lineup plus an extremely formidable pitching staff. Poor Orioles, if they played in any other division they would have at least a glimmer of hope.

AL West- Los Angeles Angels

The Angels starting rotation is deep just like the owner’s pockets. They bought the division when they signed Albert Pujols and World Series Game 1 Starter C.J. Wilson.

AL Central- Detroit Tigers

They were already good with reigning CY Young and MVP winner Justin Verlander. Bringing in Prince Fielder makes them World Series contenders and great.

AL Wildcard 1- Texas Rangers

They are starting to become the Buffalo Bills of the 90’s. (Make it all the way to the finals only to lose in crushing defeat.) Either way they are rock solid and about half of their games are against the Oakland A’s and Seattle Mariners.

AL Wildcard 2- Boston Red Sox

While omitting the Tampa Bay Rays from the playoffs is tough, it took a miracolus Evan Longoria walk off just to make it there last season. Picking the Red Sox to miss the post season two years in a row doesn’t seem to make much sense.

NL East- Atlanta Braves

Last’s year collapse like the Red Sox, will motivate the club to play complete baseball for an entire season. They have the talent, the question remains do they have the mindset to overcome last season’s adversity. I believe this is the year they get it done and win the highly competitive NL East.

NL West- Arizona Diamondbacks

Justin Upton is only 24 years old and improving. Upton’s my early frontrunner to win NL MVP and look for him to prove last season’s team record wasn’t a fluke.

NL Central- St. Louis Cardinals

Despite the loss of the machine Albert Pujols, the Cardinals are still a strong ball club. Experience of winning it all, along with the additions of Carlos Beltran plus Adam Wainwright back from injury, should guide St. Louis into the post season.

NL Wildcard 1- Philadelphia Phillies

Yes they have three legit aces in Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels. However some sort of drop off in production should be expected without Ryan Howard and Chase Utley in the lineup for the beginning of the season.

NL Wildcard 2- San Francisco Giants

Other than Philadelphia, the best pitching staff in the National League.

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Sports

Robinson Cano In New SportsCenter Commercial

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUWMMM9eNxU&feature=colike[/youtube]

“This is SportsCenter,” is one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns in sports history. If you’re a true sports fan, you have to appreciate the humor in many of these 30 second time slots. Athletes across all avenues of sports have appeared in the iconic ESPN commercials. New York Yankee Second Baseman Robinson Cano is the latest superstar to help promote ESPN’s SportsCenter. Take a look at some of our other favorite memories involving sports figures and ESPN anchors.

Albert Pujols

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nIjAycB9IM[/youtube]

 

Arnold Palmer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLxKSvkpE1Y[/youtube]

 

Alexander Ovechkin

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkJednDFJGA[/youtube]

 

David Ortiz & Jorge Posada

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0iR05lYy1g&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

 

New Jersey Devils Mascot 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksTnfz-F8KE&feature=related[/youtube]

 

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Sports

New Nike NFL Uniforms

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Are you ready for some football (Jerseys)? If you need a gift, the new Nike NFL Uniforms have officially been unveiled. Most of the team jerseys look pretty familiar except now they contain the famous nike swoosh logo. Brooklyn, New York was the sight that hosted the launch party for all 32 NFL teams. Here’s a photo gallery of every NFL team’s new uniform. (By the way, why are the Denver Broncos using kicker Matt Prater as their cover boy when they just signed Peyton Manning?)

NFC West

 

Seattle Seahawks

Arizona Cardinals

San Francisco 49ers

St. Louis Rams

NFC East

 

New York Giants

Philadelphia Eagles

Dallas Cowboys

Washington Redskins

NFC North

 

Minnesota Vikings

Chicago Bears

Detroit Lions

Green Bay Packers

NFC South

 

Atlanta Falcons

New Orleans Saints

Carolina Panthers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

 AFC West

 

Denver Broncos

 

Kansas City Chiefs

San Diego Chargers

Oakland Raiders

AFC East

 

New York Jets

New England Patriots

Miami Dolphins

Buffalo Bills

AFC North

 

Cleveland Browns

Cincinnati Bengals

Baltimore Ravens

Pittsburgh Steelers

AFC South

 

Houston Texans

Tennessee Titans

Jacksonville Jaguars

Indianpolis Colts

 

 

 

 

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Sports

Everybody Hoops: FINAL FOUR PREVIEW PODCAST w/ Scott Yager and Brian Dernulc

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The FINAL FOUR is upon us and although our Syracuse Orange are no longer dancing Brian and I still attempt to get psyched for the last three games of the year, all while looking back on the season that was and the tournament that has been so far. We discuss who the best player in the country was this season NOT named Anthony or Thomas, how they can fix the abysmal officiating in college hoops and how we will remember the soap opera of a season that SU had. We save the NBA talk for next week as this is all college hoops talk on the podcast to finish out the unbelievable NCAA season. We make our predictions for this weekend and look back on some of our favorite games of the tournament so far. An ALL college ball podcast on Everybody Hoops!

To hear PAST episodes of Everybody Hoops head over to EverybodyHoops.com

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Sports

Teenage Girl Goes Crazy On Soccer Player

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IYkQSvda1M[/youtube]

Annette McCullough is now under criminal investigation after attacking an opposing soccer player. Charged with third degree assault and battery, the South Carolina High School senior goes buck wild after being slide tackled from behind. The play didn’t look too dirty, but McCullough obviously thought it was. Next thing you know, she flips out and becomes a national news story. Beside hair pulling, (which is a must in all great cat fights) punches were thrown and a red card was shown. On top of that, a random woman wearing mom jeans from the early 90’s was in on the action as well. Here’s the footage to prove it.

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