Newsflash: banning energy drink sales on campus is apparently a thing. Or at least it is at the University of New Hampshire. On Monday, the school announced that it would no longer sell energy drinks on campus, citing an incident involving energy drinks that “helped send a student to the hospital.” I’m calling bullshit on this one…and so is the University President.

Well, I know that this is the college freshman equivalent of telling you that Santa Clause is actually just your alcoholic father eating the cookies and eggnog at midnight after you went to sleep, but what I’m about to say will save you from a lot of misery: The dorms suck. Everywhere. Always. Period. Don’t do it.