By: Amber Starr
You meet someone for one night; there seems to be an attraction and the two of you hit it off (in the bedroom). It feels exciting doesn’t it? The next morning you say your sexiest goodbye possible, exchange pins and jet. Now what? I am sure at one point or another, we have all had the same question in our heads. “When is the right time to text”? “What is the right thing to say?” etc…You don’t want to look like a psycho BBMer after the first date/one night stand…
Well in this specific case below- it was not a text, it was, in fact, BBM, and it was definitely NOT the right timing (on both parts), or the right approach, especially on Amandas part. You are about to get an exclusive, inside view of a “what NOT to do” BBM situation.
“A friend who shall remain nameless, except for his name in every alternating
piece of the dialogue, sent this to me. Just a warning as to how quickly a
girl can spiral out of control. Good luck, it’s scary out there.”
**Please note there have been no alterations in this conversation. This a true story.
See our notes in red.
Aaron-
“Just so you know – I’ve only seen this girl once for a total of 8hrs, including 3 that I was asleep. This convo was on BBM over a week and a half-absolutely insane. What do you think?”
> Amanda : Was last night weird
> Aaron : Weird? Just a little – your big sister is bff with my ex-gf
> Amanda : No I mean us sleeping together (definitely not a necessary bbm)
> Amanda : I’m sorry though about the whole steph thing. I now can imagine how that would be weird
> Aaron : I mean it was weird just cause the red eyes I took during the week caught up to me and the fact we saw steph/chelsea who I associate with ex-gf
> Amanda : I’m sorry. Ill def remember that in the future..they’re some of my good friends but no need to all hang out together
> Aaron : No worries
> Amanda : K well have a good day at work
> Amanda : And safe trip to boston and san fran
> Aaron : Thanks
> Amanda : Ugh Thanks! Talk to you later this week
> Amanda : If not, that’s cool too (Now you look desperate)
> Aaron : Well talk, have a good week at work
> Amanda : If you don’t want to hang out, its cool (Again, repeating that you are desperate)
> Aaron : We’ll talk – just busy at work – and it’s awkward w/steph.
> Amanda : Ok – I didn’t know you still had feelings for you exgf. I’d rather not be involved in all that
> Aaron : Alright, well we’ll talk when I get back from san fran
> Amanda : I mean do you?
> Aaron : Sure
> Amanda : Ok well I’m sure we’ll talk at some point. Take care
> Aaron : We’ll talk – good luck with the new job this week
> Amanda : And I didn’t realize it would be that weird for you
> Amanda : Thanks – take care
> Amanda : I was in your building this morning!
> Aaron : Here in midtown?
> Amanda : Noo your apt! One of our clients is marshalls and a sales rep lives there. We had to pick her up for a meeting in our office
> Amanda : Very random
> Amanda : Anyway thought I’d tell you
> Aaron : Sorry – meeting – yah, very random
> Amanda : Hey – are you free to talk later
> Aaron : Hey – I’m getting crushed
> Aaron : Got to get a memo out at 7
> Aaron : Then a dinner uptown
> Aaron : And then I leave at 3am for boston
> Amanda : No worries. When are you back from san francisco
> Aaron : Thursday night/friday morning
> Amanda : Okay we can talk then or whenever Good luck with everything this week
> Amanda : And have a safe trip to boston and sf
> Aaron : Yah,of course
> Aaron : Thanks
> Amanda : The reason why I was concerned is because I wanted to make sure you still wanted to talk (This is not okay)
> Aaron : Hey – do wanna talk. – I’m sorry just super busy
> Amanda : Don’t worry about today being busy. I was just concerned about you still being upset about the steph thing
> Amanda : Ill talk to you on friday. Just know that I wanna talk and I’m still interested (You have made it VERY clear you are interested. Do not keep saying it)
> Aaron : Alright, let’s friday
> Aaron : *talk
> Amanda : Sounds good
> Amanda : Hope san fran is good. Just went to the boat basin w. Friends and people I work with
> Aaron : San fran is good – lots of work unfortunately. Glad you made it to the basin – good place
> Amanda : I actually met up w my ex and his friends who is going out with one of girls I work with
> Amanda : My ex suggested it. Haha so I thought of you (weird, pointless comment)
> Aaron : Oh yikes
> Amanda : it was an awkward night
> Amanda : oh well
> Amanda : K good luck with the work and get home safely!
> Aaron : Thanks
> Aaron : Have a goodnight
> Amanda : You too. I’m excited to see you (hold up a minute. you hung out one night. Psycho comment again)
> Amanda : It better happen this weekend (AGAIN)
> Amanda : K or maybe not (AGAIN)
> Aaron : Hey – we’ll talk friday
> Amanda : Ok – but I’d guess I’d like to know if you wanna hang out again (why would he ever want to hang out after all of these annoying BBMs?)
> Amanda : I’m guessing then we:ll just talk about that on friday?
> Amanda : K goodnight
> Amanda : Sorry about yesterday.
> Amanda : We can talk on friday – k?
> Amanda : Aaron?
> Amanda : Hey
> Amanda : is everything ok? (No everything is not okay. You are a bbm stalker!)
> Amanda : Hey – why haven’t you responded (If he hasn’t responded, “hes just not that into you”)
> Aaron : Amanda, I don’t think it’s a good idea to see each other again.
> Amanda : Ok why
> Amanda : Is that what you wanted to talk to me about
> Aaron : Just you’re relation to steph is too close to my ex-gf and I don’t think it’d work out
> Amanda : I know
> Amanda : But I enjoyed getting a drink with you and I think its a shame this is going to get in the way
> Aaron : Well, I know, but right now it’s not a good time
> Amanda : Why is that (give it up!!!!)
> Amanda : I totally understand I’m just wondering (You clearly do not understand)
> Aaron : I work a lot at the moment which makes me skeptical for overcoming the fact that your close friends are very an ex-gf of mine of 3 years
> Aaron : This isn’t a science; I just don’t think it’s a good idea
> Amanda : Aaron, I seriously understand – and empathize with you a lot.
> While I am only going to be here this summer, I’m moving here for good in january. I didn’t want anything serious this summer – just wanted to ‘see someone.
> Amanda : I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I’d love to see you when I move here – maybe things will be different
> Aaron : Alright, when you move here let’s see where things stand, but I’m sorry, right now isn’t the time
> Amanda : K – well I hope its the right time for me then. Have a great summer
> Amanda : At the boat basin haha
> Amanda : K bye
> Aaron : Have fun
> Aaron : K
> Amanda : Well I know you don’t wanna talk to me anymore – that’s why I said ’k bye’ (dumb comment)
> Amanda : One last thing – its good your not seeing me til jan.
> Amanda : With the weight and all…
> Aaron : I’m just at work – that’s all
> Aaron : Don’t worry about it
> Amanda : 
> Amanda : I can’t believe you don’t wanna see me anymore (Wow, desperate and pathetic are two words that come to mind)
> Amanda : K bye. Just know that I understand where your coming from with the steph thing
> Amanda : But you’re missing out on a great girl
> Amanda : Goodnight
> Amanda : Are you still at work
> Amanda : ?
> Aaron : Yah – still here
> Amanda : Man I’m sorry. My best friends suprised me and are visiting this weekend. They aren’t moving to the city for another 2 weeks but knew I’ve been lonely – they’re amazing. Come out and meet us!
> Amanda : K I’m guessing that’s a no.
> Amanda : Ok I’m not going to continue to drunk text you…have a good night slash I wish you didn’t make the decision that you did
> Amanda : ?
> Amanda : The decision makes me sad
> Amanda : Are you alive
> Amanda : This is just rude.
> Amanda : I’m home – gnight
> Amanda : Seriously is everyhing ok
> Amanda : I$
> Amanda : I’m sorry about last night
> Amanda : Hi – my dad wanted to smoke hookah for fathers day so I brought him to le souk
> Amanda : Goood times….
> Aaron : That’s a good place to go – bet he liked it
> Amanda : He’s loving out – he loves cigars so its right up his alley
> Aaron : Very cool
> Amanda : I wanna see you at some point. This is ridic (Again, TAKE A HINT)
> Amanda : I really think it doesn’t make sense that we can’t just hang out to get to know one another
> Amanda : Without steph – just the two of us
> Amanda : What do you think
> Aaron : I’m super busy
> Aaron : At work now actually
> Amanda : Oh na
> Amanda : Oh man I’m sorry
> Amanda : Good luck with work – ill talk to you later
> Aaron : K
> Amanda : I’m moving down to the financial district this week
> Amanda : ah sorry wrong person – I’ve been smoking all day. Out of it
> Amanda : Are you still at work
> Aaron : Yup
> Amanda : Wow – go home
> Amanda : I mean when can u go home
> Aaron : Probably midnight or one
> Amanda : I feel bad
> Amanda : For you
> Aaron : Don’t
> Aaron : I signed up for it
> Amanda : true – and it sounds very impressive
> Amanda : I’m starting to pack my stuff up. Moving to battery park to live with my gfs at end of the week.
> Amanda : I’ve been lonely without them ha. They’ll all be here by july
> Aaron : Cool – listen – I’m super busy
> Aaron : I gotta focus
> Amanda : Ok sorry – later
> Amanda : Hey – sorry for interupting. But I think you’re right, we shouldn’t hang out
> Amanda : K so goodnight and good luck with the work
> Amanda : Is that okay
> Amanda : Ok you’re working so I’m interpreting that as a yes
> Amanda : Did you get my bbm yesterday
> Aaron : Yah, I got it late – look super busy – I got a presentation in
> London on Wednesday
> Amanda : Good luck with the presentation
> Amanda : And enjoy london
> Amanda : Hey – when are you leaving
> Amanda : K still working. Good luck
> Amanda : Hey – the reason why I don’t wanna hang out is because you’re never gonna be around. I know your ridiculously busy with work and I wanna hang out with someone on a consistent basis (stage 5 clinger)
> Amanda : I’m sure you’re still working but I just wanted to tell you my reasoning
> Amanda : K bye
> Amanda : Can you at least respond
> Aaron : Listen – look – you’re right I work a lot
> Aaron : I’m actually on a conference call
> Amanda : Plus to be honest I’m offended about the steph thing – you didn’t even want to get to know one another before not hanging out
> Amanda : I know I’m high maintenence in that I want someone to be there -and I’m guessing that’s not gonna happen with you
> Amanda : So you work a lot and I don’t want that – it doesn’t make sense for me
> Amanda : Anyway, you’re working. I’m going to someones to watch a movie
> Amanda : Have a good night and safe trip to london
> Aaron : Ok – thanks, night
> Amanda : do you agree with me in not hanging out (UMMM…. Hasn’t he made that extremely CLEAR??)
> Aaron : yah, it’s best
> Amanda : best because of work or steph?
> Aaron : Both
> Amanda : The steph thing doesn’t make sense – you wouldn’t be seeing her, you’d be seeing me.
> Amanda : Listen – I’m normally not like this with guys. At this point, I would normally just move on and not even think twice – but for some reason I’m interested in you (Please….)
> Amanda : I wish the steph thing didn’t bother you – if that was the case, I’d get over the working fairly quickly
> Amanda : anyway, I know that I want hang out with you – its bothering me that you don’t feel the same or don’t wanna make any accomedations with work
> Amanda : Good luck with the presentation!
> Amanda : Fyi – I am currently ‘babysitting’ clients in cali.
> Amanda : Are you in london?
> Amanda : The reason why I’m asking is cuz I’m actually there now
> Amanda : My dad had to go for biz – and suprised me with a plane ticket. My bf lena lives in germany – she came to visit – we just got home
> Amanda : Hey -
> Amanda : I don’t know uf
> Amanda : If you got this but I’m in london with my dad. Leaving tomorrow morning
> Amanda : Anyway, hope things are good
> Amanda : Are you back in ny
> Amanda : If u don’t wanna hang out whed I get back please let me know (HE LET YOU KNOW)
> Amanda : Hey – let’s meet up tonight. Stephs at the beach and I’m out with my other friensa
> Amanda : Yes or no? Let me know
> Amanda : Hello?
> Amanda : ?? Can you answer
> Amanda : I’m confused
> Amanda : Aaron?
> Amanda : All I have to say is you’re missing out – ha
> Amanda : Seriously
> Amanda : Are u alive
> Amanda : Hi – can you just say you don’t wanna hang out anymore so I’m not confused (HE SAID IT. The only thing confusing here is why on earth you are still bbming)
> Amanda : Its actually really rude that you haven’t responded
> Amanda : What’s wrong with you – do you mind just manning up and saying you don’t wanna hang out
> Amanda : I’ve honestly never encountered anyone that’s been this rude. Its weird
> Amanda : I’m assuming that you’re not going to respond.
> Amanda : With that said, you don’t know anything about me and for some reason you didn’t want to get to know anything about me. What you should know is I’m a great girl and don’t deserve to be treated like this
> Amanda : And, in the end, its unfortunate because your missing out
> Amanda : *you’re
> Amanda : Good bye and good luck
> Amanda : Aaron?
Yes, it ends here.
We felt it was important to share this with you so you can realize how bad some girls can get. As a campus diva we must avoid that! Here are some tips on how to avoid being that “crazy chick”
- If you do sleep with a guy on the first date (big no-no) don’t follow up by asking if it was weird right after
- Don’t ask the guy to hang out repeatedly (in fact, maybe don’t ask at all. If he wants to hang out, he will ask you)
- If he is not asking you to hang out – take that as a hint. If he’s actually spelling out he doesn’t want to hang out – take that as a bigger hint. Never bbm him again. There are other fish in the sea.
- Do not say you don’t want to hang out and then contradict that by asking to hang out anyway. You look completely desperate.
- Do not send multiple bbms at a time when clearly he is not responding.
“>Here are some tips on how to avoid dealing with that “crazy chick”
- Delete her from your bbm.
Hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did!
Listen, we don’t know what really went on in between or during this horrifying conversation… which is why I am going to make it my business to find out. Let’s get inside their heads and find out what was really going on. Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with one or both participants!
(I’d like to throw out a quick thanks to the guy who started this e-mail chain. If it weren’t for you, we would all be less entertained!)
*Special Thanks To Marin Ivy for bringing this to our attention and adding commentary
*Special Thanks To R. Tiger for the Title
