Highest Rated Mixed Drinks

Drinking takes up a good chunk of a student’s life. You’re stressed out, wanna have a good time, hang out with your friends, and make some bad decisions, drinking just feels so right, shhhh, just let it happen.

But night after night, sometimes drinking can get focking boring! Well don’t you fret, with these delicious mixed drinks; you’ll soon be on your way to debauchery! Weeeee!

Sex on the Beach

Ingredients:

2/3 oz. Schnapps, peach

1 1/3 oz. Vodka

1 1/3 oz. Cranberry Juice

1 1/3 oz. Orange Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Combine ingredients in a willytail shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a highball glass filled with ice.

(don’t ask me, okay, this is just what came up on Google for “panty hamster”)

Panty Hamster

Ingredients:

1 part Jägermeister

1 part Liqueur, melon

1 part Liqueur, raspberry

2 parts Cranberry Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Shake ingredients in a willytail shaker with ice. Strain into glass.

Dirty Bizzo

Ingredients:

1 part Rum, coconut

1 part Schnapps, peach

1 part Tuaca

1 part Cranberry Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Shake ingredients in a willytail shaker with ice. Strain into glass.

Sex with the Bartender

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz. Rum, light

1 1/2 oz. Schnapps, strawberry

1 splash Cranberry Juice

Fill with Orange Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Mix everything together in glass with ice.

Electric Smurf

Ingredients:

1 oz. Curacao, blue

1 oz. Rum, coconut

Fill with Pineapple Juice

Fill with Sprite

Mixing Instructions

Fill lower half of glass with ice cubes. Add rum and curacao. Fill glass half with pineapple juice, and half with Sprite. Stir slightly and serve.

(bet you’re paying attention now…you dirty bird…)

Sex with Jennifer

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz. Rum, coconut

1 oz. Triple Sec

1 1/2 oz. Vodka

1 dash Grenadine

Fill with Pineapple Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Mix in glass, drink fast.

Blonde Bimbo

Ingredients:

1 part Rum, coconut

1 part Schnapps, peach

1 part Tuaca

1 part Pineapple Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Shake ingredients in a willytail shaker with ice. Strain into glass.

Wild Wet Dream

Ingredients:

1 part Curacao, blue

1 part Liqueur, melon

1 part Rum, coconut

3 parts Cranberry Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Add equal parts of alcohol over ice and fill glass with cranberry juice.

Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz. Triple Sec (Cointreau)

1 oz. Vodka

1 oz. Lime Juice

1 wedge Lime

Mixing Instructions:

Shake ingredients in a willytail shaker with ice. Strain into a willytail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge and a stir stick.

…and now for one of the highest rated mixed drinks…

…wait for it…

Tropical Hooter

Ingredients:

1 oz. Liqueur, melon

1 oz. Rum, coconut (Malibu)

2 oz. Cranberry Juice

2 oz. Pineapple Juice

Mixing Instructions:

Mix ingredients over ice in glass. Shake if preferred.

And what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t recommend a demeaning shot for my fellow ladies? WARNING: all boys will be coming to the yard to watch you take this shot.