Finally, college-born alcoholics will no longer need to struggle to find empty water bottles for their pre-mixed alcohol concoctions. It’s always so obnoxious looking for mixers to make your hard liquor more appealing, so now we no longer have to. Similar to Mike’s Hard Lemonades, wine coolers, and sweet tea vodka, Jack Daniel’s and (hard) coke in a can is the next great invention for college students and elder alcoholics alike.
The world of mixed drinks is revolutionizing at our convenience. Pre-mixed cans of liquor is actually called Alcopop. Alcopop is a term describing flavored alcoholic beverages, consisting of various percentages of alcohol. Obviously something like Jack and coke in a can would have more alcohol in it than your average wine cooler. Brands include: Smirnoff Ice, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, Bacardi Breezer, Skyy Blue, and now Jack Daniel’s Hard Cola.
Can I say…this is fucking awesome. I love the idea of Mike’s Hards, but frankly, I like my alcohol to be harder than Mike is supplying me with. Alcopops are so convenient, and I feel like my abilities to get more blacked out and more fucked up are endless. I can now conveniently buy a 6-pack of Jack Daniel’s Hard Cola, probably for the same price as a small bottle anyway, head out to the party, and not worry about having to buy a bottle, a bottle of coke, AND something to mix it in.
The world of drinking is now at my disposal and the possibilities are endless. How about Sex on the Beach in a can? Malibu Bay Breezes in a wine cooler for us classy ladies? Captain Morgan and coke in a can? Why the fuck not?
Something interesting about all of this is that some states are trying to change laws to discourage the sale of alcopops. California wants to pass a bill requiring manufacturers to place a warning label on alcopops saying, “Attention: THIS DRINK CONTAINS ALCOHOL.” This is being done to prevent underage drinking since alcopops are so appealing. And other places are trying to add an increased tax to the drinks. BUT TO NO AVAIL. Ha.
The law is not great enough to prevent the selling of alcopops, and thank god for that. This new generation of drinking will add a level of convenience that was not matched until Jeremiah’s Sweet Tea (a mix of sweet tea vodka and lemonade or tea) began being distributed.
Thank you alcopops, and I look forward to drinking you.