What comprises the quintessential Frat Daddy? Is it his choice in Slam Pieces? Is it his pastel wardrobe? Is it his homo-erotic love for his bros? Think you might be the stereotypical Frat Daddy? If you can relate to two or more of these, then you might want to rethink that trip to Vineyard Vines.
Your Father is a Former Frat Daddy
You’re a walking legacy. Your father was in a Fraternity, so it only makes sense that you would follow in his footprints. That is, if you plan on keeping that trust fund. Being in a Fraternity is all about networking, so why not use your Daddy’s contacts, and get hammered 24/7 while doing so.
Your Entire Closet is Douchebag Preppy
Every color of the pastel rainbow is represented in your closet, and you like it that way. You would never leave your house without your Sperry’s, even if you had no intention of going on a boat. You are a classy bitch, and you know it. Any day could be a day to flamboyantly rub your wealth in everyone else’s face, and you take no day for granted.
You Prefer a Bromance Over a Romance
When presented with the option, you would much rather spend a night with your best bro, than a night with your number one slam piece. Frat bro’s love those tender moments they share with each other. Some frats that I know, go so far as having “Brodeo” nights. These are the nights where the bros all get drunk together, and no girls are allowed. God only knows what happens in the later hours. There’s no bond stronger than a Frat daddy and another Frat daddy. So if you spend a little too much time with your bro, and not very much time getting it in, you may be a Frat Daddy.
You Would Never Be Caught Dead in Cargo Shorts
Cargo Shorts are the ultimate sign of someone not in Greek Life. So obviously you aren’t wearing them. In fact, you’re so Frat, you have never in your entire life even owned a pair, and have no intentions of this changing any time soon. You wouldn’t even make your pledges wear them, because that would truly be hazing.
You Know The Difference Between GDI and Greek God
See what I said about cargo shorts above? Yeah, cargo shorts are a GDI staple. If you don’t know what GDI means, chances are that you are one. A GDI is essentially anyone not in Greek Life, that spends all their time mocking everything about it. If you at any point have used this acronym, and aren’t just hearing about it: you may be a Frat Daddy. Those GDIs keep wearing their cargo shorts, and you keep raging in your pastels.
You Always Have Several Slam Pieces on Speed Dial
Why have one Sorority girl when you could have three? Frat Daddy’s take advantage of the different sororities on campus, by finding a different Slam Piece in every chapter. It’s actually a lot easier than it sounds. When it comes to slam, the Frat Daddy knows exactly what he’s doing. The girl he calls is at his doorstep instantly, and with a plate of cookies.
You Look Through TotalFratMove.com, and Relate to More Than Half of it.
Total Frat Move is a site made for the bro’s, the slam pieces, and all of the Greek Community. It’s a place to go, and brag about how great being in a Fraternity/Sorority is, and why GDI’s suck. If you have this site bookmarked, and are a frequent contributor, hate to break it to you but you my friend are a Grade-!
Those are just some of the many qualities that would classify you as a Frat Daddy. If you are looking to someday become a Frat Daddy, spend a lot of money on your wardrobe and your friends, get a few token Slam Pieces, avoid GDI’s, and you’re on your way.