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The Next Four Loko: Whipped Lightning

Yes. You are seeing correctly. That is whipped cream you see above you. But this isn’t your everyday Reddi-Whip. This is Whipahol: Whipped cream infused with alcohol.  It’s so brilliant that I want to punch myself for not thinking of it first. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the new Four Loko.

While it doesn’t pack the caffeine punch that Four Loko did, it basically has the same effect. This concoction can get up to 36.5 Proof, and you can put it on anything: shots & shooters, cocktails, martinis, coffees, frozen beverages, your favorite dessert….or just eat it plain. The end result is that you get hammered drunk without even realizing it.

This is the new craze among college students. If you want to be sophisticated and stylish, then get drunk from an aerosol can. The “beverage” is already being closely monitored by health officials, who say it could be dangerous in the wrong hands (i.e. teens who don’t know their limits and turn into sloppy disasters). The product is available in several states and is on its way to several more. You can find out if its available near you on the Whipped Lightning website.

But wait, I’m not done. It gets better. Whipped Lightning comes in a variety of flavors, all of which sound absolutely delicious: German Chocolate, Caramel Pecan, Hazelnut Expresso, Amaretto, White Chocolate Raspberry, Spiced Vanilla, Tropical Passion, Coconut, and Strawberry Colada. The next question you probably want answered is ‘How many calories are in it?” Well, since it isn’t technically a food product, no one ever tested the amount of calories present in each mix. But if you’re the type of person who’s worried about that type of thing, you could always just not use it and save yourself the regret of eating an entire canister of cream.

If all of the above doesn’t convince you that this stuff is on the way in (while Four Loko is on the way out), then how about this: It also doubles as whippets!

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