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Ultra Girl Takes Madonna’s Advice And Finds Molly

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Thanks Madonna for your obvious mention of Molly before introducing Avicii at Ultra. One girl in particular took your message to heart. My question though is can you still be considered hot after fucking a tree? Not a math major but the formula for this girl’s actions must have been; molly + acid+ dirty bass = fucking a tree. The Ultra Music Festival featured some amazing talent but this girl’s make out session with a tree may have topped them all. This girl makes Snooki look somewhat normal and that’s saying something. My prediction is within the next 3 months she will be approached by Vivid for their newest video, “Tree Humpers: An Exploration of Slutty Mother Nature.” I’m putting that shit on my Amazon wish list right behind the Easy Bake Oven.

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