Sometimes social media can get a little too social. Many marriage counselors hear stories about Facebook emotional affairs, but sometimes fights get started about things much less serious. Love it or hate it, social media is an integral part of many people’s lives. Even if one partner is anti-social media, the chances of their partner agreeing are pretty slim.
How can a couple survive the era of social media with their relationship and self-esteem intact? Here are the 5 most common fights caused by Facebook and how to avoid them.
1. Emotional Affairs
People usually Facebook stalk two people: those they can’t stand and those they’re crushing on. Getting back in touch with an old flame or someone that’s been a constant fixation for infatuation is asking for trouble. It’s easy for pillow talk to make its way onto Facebook. To keep this from happening, never friend anyone who’s a potential romantic interest.
2. “Harmless” Flirting
Even if someone doesn’t think they’re flirting, that friendly banter can read differently to a spouse or mutual friends. Winky faces, suggestive threads and everything in between can all be the basis for an emotional affair to start brewing. Try to look at every post from an outsider’s perspective. Be careful what’s posted and how it’s presented–it can be difficult to put the right spin on a conversation when the only tool is words.
3. A Lack of Photos
Sometimes it’s what a person doesn’t do that’s the problem. If one spouse regularly posts pictures alone or with friends and there are virtually none with their partner, feelings get hurt. Their partner might think they’re trying to “hide” their marriage online. Posting pictures of loved ones shows them that they’re important.
4. Posting Pictures of the Kids
Some people don’t want any pictures of their kids posted online, and for good reason. It can become fodder for child sex abuse cases–even something as innocent as a bath photo can spread to seedy sites. However, when one parent posts pictures (especially with divorced couples) and the other doesn’t want it happening, fights break out. The more conservative parent’s wishes should be respected when it comes to child safety.
5. Ambiguous Relationship Statuses
Why does Facebook have to have the option of “It’s Complicated” there? To keep things simple, just assume a person is single unless they’re engaged or married. Otherwise, choose to leave the section blank. Take it seriously when changing relationship statuses, because it can cause a lot of drama.
Marriage counselling can help with a variety of issues from social media scandals to simply communicating better. Even for couples who think they’re perfectly fine, it’s a good idea to get a regular checkup with a pro.
