Article By: Nick Mathews (Umass Slamherst)
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Alright, so I haven’t written in a while. I have actually been really busy with band and work and school and the like and have been able to rationalize not writing articles… but, in the words of Bender from Futurama, 
So let’s talk Greek. School’s back, it’s fall semester, and that means rush is in full swing. This means that the number of greek letters I have to read daily have extended exponentially from the summer. So now we’re put into a situation where every fraternity on campus (my campus at least) is frantically trying to get people to join. This is the time of wine and dine. Yo bro, come to this party. There are women, beer, and women. More importantly, most of those aformentioned women are fresh..women. This means one thing. They are nieve. Yay. This is what we in the industry call awesome. In order to fully understand this phenomenon, let us juxtupose these two classic pictoral representations of the american education system.
- High School
- College
What have we learned. Good.
But this is supposed to be an article about rush. Going to a rush event sometimes can feel like you are trying to buy a used car, without the awkward guy in a plaid suit. These frat guys spend their time subtly extolling the virtues of their various organizations. “We totally get the hottest freshmen”, “We party at least 4 nights a week”, “We don’t let black people in” (South of mason dixon line only), “My dad owns a dealership and can totally hook you up”…
It sounds pretty stuffty right. WRONG. This is an amazing opportunity for you freshman. Go to as many rush events as possible. Frats are predisposed to treat rushes like royalty. I didn’t have to pay for alchohol the first two weeks of either my freshman or sophomore year due to rush… and you ready for the big caveat? The game-changer? I ended up actually pledging one.
Here comes the big, reflective monologue that you find at the end of every good south park episode. As demonized as fraternity’s tend to be, there are many redeeming qualities beyond free beer and loose freshmen. Its a group of like-minded people who drink together, work together, and learn from each other (Wicked gay, IKNORITE). I’ve made some great friends through my fraternal organization and also made some important connections that are definitely going to help me once I leave this mecca. So maybe fraternities aren’t for you, that’s totally cool, and you can still have a great time at college without them, but its foolish to just dismiss them as a bunch of douchebags (except for that fraternity… oh you know who i’m talking about. Fuck those guys. I hate those guys. Especially that one fat one that thinks he can DJ, yeah fudge him.) without even getting to know your local chapters.
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