Going after your friend’s ex is inexcusable in most circumstances. It’s a backstabbing, dirty move like a late hit after the whistle or slide tackle from behind. Not only does the perpetrator lack any sort of a moral compass, but he also deserves a swift kick to the balls for breaking guy code. It doesn’t matter if you broke up with her, ex-girlfriends are off limit and your friends should know better than to go behind your back and shamelessly try to hook up with someone you have history with. Here’s how you might handle the situation.
Breaking up and moving on can be a complicated and difficult process that can take weeks, months, or even years to complete. What’s the worst thing that could possibly happen after you finally get over your ex? Finding out your friend has been hooking up with her on the down low. How do you react to the situation? Do you confront your friend? Do you slander your ex-girlfriend’s name with a few choice words?
Undoubtedly you are pissed off and upset your friend would commit such douchebaggery and that your ex-girlfriend would sell you out like that. There is no silver lining when you find out something like this. Everyone knew about it but you: all your friends, your ex-girlfriend’s friends, your teammates. It even trickled down to random people on campus you’ve never heard of. How do you make sense of all of it?
Should you be mad at your friends who knew about it and didn’t tell you? Yes. But, you have to understand where they are coming from. Who wants to be the bearer of bad news in a situation like this? Believe it or not, a lot of guys don’t have the grapes to step up and say something. It’s not their fault nor is it their problem, so there isn’t really any incentive for them to get involved. They figure the truth will come out sooner or later, and as long as it wasn’t from them, they have no responsibility in the matter.
What about you friend, the betrayer? Should you do to him like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan? You’re absolutely right if you want to throw on a ski mask, lace up the Timberland boots, grab the Louisville Slugger, and lay down an old-fashioned ass kicking. However, by doing so, you will most likely face a ton of jail time and ruin your life. Non-violent confrontation is probably your best option here.
Would it be okay if he came to you beforehand instead of going behind your back and doing his dirt? It might not be okay, but it would be proper. At least he would be following the unwritten protocol rather than just shtupping first and dealing with the consequences later. Nevertheless, the fact that he would even ask your permission to take out your ex-girlfriend is completely asinine and selfish. There are millions of other girls out there. Go wine and dine one of them.
As for your ex-girlfriend, there isn’t much to say or do about her. To you, she is nothing but a piece of corn on a rat turd. She can go to hell and take all of her friends with her, too. It’s one thing to hook up with one of your friends as pay back, but to carry on a relationship is inexcusable, cheap, and whorish. The less she sees or hears from you, the better. Let her stew in her own guilt until it breaks her.
