I’ve spent the past 20 years of my life navigating the streets of New York City: from the ridiculous hills of Staten Island, to the boardwalk of Coney Island, up into the maze of the Bronx, back down to Queens (which I spent most of the time just passing through…there’s not much in Queens besides chop-shops, Asians, and a miserable Baseball team), and into the heart of Manhattan – the meat of the city. I spend most of my time there, hopping from one venue to another until the sun comes up and it’s time to take the first train back to boring ol’ Long Island. But there is no venue in the concrete jungle of Manhattan that can compare to the one that resides in the bowels of Brooklyn, on the corner of Wythe and North 12th – I’m speaking of Brooklyn Bowl, of course.
This is Brooklyn Bowl 2010 from Brooklyn Bowl on Vimeo.
No, I’ve seriously been everywhere: Irving Plaza, Terminal 5, Bowery Ballroom, Webster Hall, Hammerstein Ballroom, Best Buy Theater (formally Nokia), Madison Square Garden, Roseland Ballroom, Radio City Music Hall, Manhattan Grand Ballroom, The Gramercy, Highline Ballroom, Sullivan Hall, The Delancey, Mercury Lounge, plus countless other hole-in-the-wall places…maybe even some larger venues and nightclubs I’m forgetting (it’s hard to remember where you’ve been when you live my kind of lifestyle). But nothing can beat what the Bowl has to offer.
They aren’t lying when they use the term “bowl.” It most certainly is a bowling alley. The lanes are stocked with people who want to get their bowl on all night. But despite that, the pins and balls are perhaps the most neglected part of the enormous warehouse. So if people aren’t there to bowl, then why do they come? There are three simple answers to that:
1. The Music
Adjacent to the bowling alley is where the magic happens: world famous DJs, bands, rappers, and singers all grace the stage of the venue, which looks over a dance floor that stretches all the way back to the bar. Any artist who knows anything about NYC makes it their business to play a show at the bowl. Sometimes they’ll squeeze in 2 or 3 different shows in one night…I was there for EOTO when they forced everyone out to bring in a whole different crowd for a Solange Knowles (Beyonce’s little sister) DJ set. Sometimes the sound isn’t so great…I don’t know whether to blame the sound technician, the weird acoustics, or 20 rolling balls echoing through the warehouse…but the atmosphere completely makes up for that. Well, that plus the next thing.
2. The Beer
It flows endlessly from the taps at the bar. It’s like a waterfall that gets you drunk. Even if the sound is somewhat muddled, it’s nothing a few delicious brews won’t fix. But this isn’t your everyday, run-of-the-mill Budweiser and Coors. You see, Brooklyn Bowl and the Brooklyn Brewery are next door neighbors – isn’t that convenient? If you aren’t drinking one of Brooklyn Brewery’s amazing drafts, then you’re sipping on a tasty Kelso beer (another local brewery). Take in those delicious suds, but watch out because they tend to give you actual glasses (not plastic cups), and I’ve seen one too many a beer take the disastrous plunge on the dance floor. Broken glass is not conducive to raging – But if you’re the clumsy type you can ask for plastic. Try every style of brew on tap: You will not be disappointed.
3. The Food
Save the best for last. Besides being a full bowling alley, a bar, and a concert venue, Brooklyn Bowl is also a restaurant. True story. There aren’t many venues in NYC that are known for their food. In fact, I believe Brooklyn Bowl is the ONLY venue that’s famous for its food – specifically their Blue Ribbon Fried Chicken, which is TO DIE FOR. So what if you’re paying $22 for an 8 piece of chicken? It’s a small price to pay for what may be the most enjoyable meal of your life. It’s not just the chicken, though: the whole menu is straight fire. Mac and Cheese au gratin? DOPE. Thin-Cut Fries with gravy, 2 kinds of cheeses, and cajun spices? DOPER. Drink it down with the city’s freshest beer and then get off your ass and start dancing.
If all of that didn’t convince you to get off your computer and go to Brooklyn Bowl immediately, then you’re probably a lost cause. There’s one more thing you should know though…
The One Downside
Hipsters. Lots of them. Be prepared to see people in tight jeans, cardigans, deep v-necks, and nonprescription glasses. And they aren’t the most socially cultured people: They start mosh pits for music that you’ve supposed to groove to, they stand completely still for music you’re supposed to bounce to, and sometimes they just walk around the dance floor looking completely lost. But to each their own – I let them be whoever they want to be, as long as they don’t look at, speak to, or touch me (Note: I realize the hypocrisy in raving about Brooklyn Bowl and hating on hipsters, which in turn makes me no better than them).
By the way, I wrote all of this without any prompting from Brooklyn Bowl, so if this doesn’t get me free admission and drinks for life, then I don’t know what will.
