Wouldn’t it be great if there was a dating site, specifically made for college students who just wanna get it in? Men wouldn’t have to pay for all the drinks at the bar the whole night, and girls wouldn’t have to stand there nodding and pretending to be interested. They could both just log on to the site, meet some other college student near them who wants to bone, and meet up for some late night sex, with no red tape whatsoever. Come on, who wouldn’t sign up? Here is my proposal for how this amazing concept could play out, and benefit anyone who ever felt like getting an easy lay. In other words: Anyone and Everyone.
To use the site, horny college students would sign up for a membership by paying a one time only fee. They will also be credited with their own personal box of condoms, because you know, safety first. Afterwards, the student would set up a profile, and be required to post various pictures of themselves. The more pictures the better, because everyone has that one good picture. Each college student could browse through a diverse amount of different categories, in order to find the perfect booty call.
Just think about it? Single college students could look for other single college students up to 30 miles away from them, and have attachment free sex, just by clicking a mouse. Since this is an attachment free website, no feelings and emotions are allowed. Sex only. Seriously, what’s better than an attachment free, emotionless booty call? With a brilliant concept like this though, it is very very important that it’s done right. The site would need to be as easy, and efficient in it’s purpose as possible. Nothing short of perfection would be acceptable. Here is my outline of site features and requirements, which absolutely must be implemented.
1. Attachment Free Environment
As I said, this website would specialize in sex devoid of feelings or emotions. Booty Calls only. Like Ashton Kutcher would say: No Strings Attached. If someone becomes, or is starting to appear to be a Stage 5 Clinger, the victim of said clinging can report this person to the site moderators. The person will be suspended on the first offense, and banned for life on the second. This is college sex, people. Clingerdom (Yeah, it’s a word now.) is unacceptable.
2. Membership
The membership is a one-time fee of $9.99 only. As I mentioned, along with the membership comes a box of free condoms, and your own profile. People will only be able to use the site if they are a member, in order to prevent as little foul play as possible. Everyone knows rapists and axe murderers don’t pay fees. Safe sex is also recommended with any activity resulting from use of the site. Key word: reccomended. If you want to raw-dog it with someone you met on the internet, that’s your problem. The site is not responsible for any unwanted children, violent injuries, or aggresive STD’s contracted because of it’s use.
3. Profile Details
Your profile includes a page with multiple places to upload pictures, and a small box for details limited to name, age, favorite positions, number of times you have had sex, location, and farthest traveling distance. Too many details are not allowed. This site is not for friendship or companionship. It’s for having emotion-free college sex. I can’t stress this enough. Keep it simple.
4. Rate Your Partner
After you indulge in website facilitated sex by making a booty call, or going out on a booty call, you could go back to the website and rate your partners sex skills. This is totally optional, but if your partner came faster than you were able to get your shirt off, I would reccomend saying so. That way other horny college students don’t make the same mistake you did. There are also sexiness and hotness ratings (1 to 10 of course), but they are assumed to be divorced from overall sex ability. After all, we’ve all been with that sloppy drunk, fat girl that fudgeed like a champ.
5. Repeat Action
More than likely, your booty call will come over late night. You can either ask this person to leave the night of, so you could get some quality sleep, or you could share the bed for the night, and they could have a nice, refreshing walk of shame in the morning. Either way, you got your action for the night and depending on how good it was, you might think about hitting that person up again. The website will make this easy, because you will have the option to make the person a favorite, after you have had this initial actor. You both will agree to the connection, and will now be able to chat through the site. Open chat will only be allowed, if both parties confirm that there has been an initial encounter. No talking the first time. Sex and only sex.
So there you have it. Quite possibly, the greatest thing to happen to college, since beer pong. Someone needs to make this site and make it fast. I’m looking at you Socialites. All I ask is for a free membership (and make those condoms extra-large if you can). Can’t wait.
