I know when you think of a super hero, you most likely picture a fictional character in tights fighting crime or someone with extra-ordinary powers saving the universe from some unseen threat that has the potential to doom all of humanity. However, if you think outside of the box for a second and look a little bit closer, you just might spot a super hero on your college campus. Yes, a college student super hero! Here’s a list of characters who probably won’t be saving the world anytime soon, but will definitely experience some epic adventures, making college life for everyone more entertaining, to say the least.
Ms. Promiscuous
This girl is practically Ms. Perfect during the day or even during the week. In class, she sits in the front, always prepared for the day’s lecture. She asks and answers questions, and seems to have a bright future ahead of her. She usually comes off to all the other students as shy and slightly socially awkward. Well, at night or during the weekend, she morphs into someone totally different. This difference is usually for the greater good, if you happen to be a horny desperate male, which is every guy on campus. This perfect-girl-turned-slutty-skank is seen stuff-face wasted at every campus party and can’t keep her hands off any guy who she comes into contact with. This even includes the nerd in the corner, who is only at the party to conduct some sort of weird social experiment, he claims. Ms. Promiscuous is bound to leave with a basketball player or two and by the end of the semester; she has slept with the whole team and has received a 3.5 GPA. Go figure.
Beer Can Pulverizer
This party animal only transforms when there is a 30-pack of Keystone Light in his presence. This once pretty regular, laid back fellow is now opening beer cans with his teeth, eyelids and any other part of his body he can manage to stick the can tab under. After finishing a beer in 10 seconds, he gets the need to smash the can onto his forehead with his super strength. This lad is the loudest and most rambunctious person at the party and is usually the first to play beer pong or any other drinking game he has suggested. The Beer Can Pulverizer is never the host and is one of the last guys to leave the party. This normally occurs after everyone else passes out or there is no more beer left. Don’t expect this guy to chip in for what he has swindled or even remember the ridiculous things he did the night before. Just expect a good frickin time.
Ultimate Frat Guy
Better known as Douchebag Man. This dude is only concerned with two things, getting pussy (his Kryptonite) and going to the gym. Everything else is secondary. Give this guy a letter jacket and a band of brothers and he thinks he is a god. Mr. Frat boy can be seen raw dogging every skank he encounters and somehow never gets STDs.
The Dorm-nificent
Are you new at school? Don’t really know your way around campus? Don’t worry, Dorm-nificent will come to your rescue. This guy knows everyone and everything on campus. Everywhere you turn, this guy is there. He can tell you where to go to get the best bud, what classes are an easy A and what parties to hit up this Saturday night. This guy is like a frickin sponge of useful and, sometimes, useless knowledge for everything on campus.
Captain Privileged
This know-it-all prick came from a private school and usually looks down upon his fellow lower-class classmates. It seems like he is never in class or studies, but always manages to get good grades. He has knowledge on everything and if it has been done before, he has done it. This guy is extremely lucky, especially in situations involving authority figures. This motherfudgeer is pretty much perfect. This is someone you want to room with. Once you get past his naïve snobbish ways, college life should be a breeze.
