By Matt Schoenman
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So last night’s Dexter was certainly interesting. Dex was let off the hook by the FBI, which is a good thing if you don’t like suspense. Unfortunately, Dexter didn’t kill anyone, which is the main drawing point of the show, but at least now he’s got someone in his sights: Boyd Fowler, an animal-removal specialist who also dabbles in murdering blonde women (then putting them in barrels and dumping them in a swamp…very classy). Dexter picked up his scent while choosing a moving truck. He actually made his decision on which truck to rent based on the fact that he saw traces of blood in one.
He told Harry that “the better killer I am, the better father I will be.” Contrarily, he brings Harrison into the bed of the truck in the middle of the night in order to investigate the blood spatter. Sure, tell your child (who already spent a night bathing in his mother’s blood) fairy tales about murder…that’s how you be a good dad. Then, Astor and Cody move in with their grandparents, leaving Dexter to his own devices. Can I just mention how much of a little bitch Astor is? Dexter attempts to convince her to stay by admitting that he loves her, and she gives him a half-hug, then just leaves without saying a word. Whatever, at least now he’s free to pursue whatever instinct he wishes…In fact, he almost shanks his condescending butt of a neighbor in the gut while grabbing some things from the house, but quickly gets his desire under control.
At the same time, the actual plot of the season begins to unfold. Quinn investigates Kyle Butler only to find that the character sketches closely resemble Dexter. Uh-oh, Quinn please don’t become the white Doakes. The closer you get to Dexter, the higher your chance of dying. Wait…I’d LOVE if Quinn died…keep probing, little buddy! By the way, is it just me or did Quinn look really skinny and unhealthy in this episode? Kind of like the narrator from Tales From the Crypt. No wonder Deb didn’t want to admit that she had sex with THAT.
LaGuerta and Batista got on my nerves more than ever with their little marriage side-story. Someone needs to kill them off already. Or deport them back to Cuba/Dominican Republic/Wherever the hell they’re from. What, deportation jokes aren’t in good taste?
And then there is the supposed murder-suicide that is obviously going to turn into the main storyline of the season. Some girl gets decapitated. A random policewoman says its “Santa Muerte,” or Saint Death, some occult society that cuts out peoples’ eyes and tongues with machetes. And then that headless chick’s boyfriend dies by an apparent shotgun blast to the face. They assume he killed her in the style of the cult and then killed himself. But, the same lady-cop is at the scene of that crime…interesting. It seems like she has something to do with it. Of course, it is her neighborhood, but it sounds like she knows a lot more than she’s letting on. I guess we’ll all find out as the season trudges on…
