The iPhone has countless exciting and revolutionary features – sadly, autocorrect definitely isn’t one of them. You’d think after seeing an entire website devoted to autocorrect nightmares (props to damnyouautocorrect.com) Apple would get the hint and either tweak it or eliminate it altogether. Or maybe they get some sick enjoyment out of the whole thing. I’ll bet the entire staff has a designated hour every week where they all sit down and go on damnyouautocorrect.com to laugh at their customers’ misfortune.
1. Dad and daughter incest
Words would certainly fail me as well if my daughter texted me and told me she was about to cum and needed me to eat her out.
2. Pig at the door
The response is even funnier than the initial text. She actually believes there is a possibility that her neighbor has a pig guarding her front door.
3. Drinking a willy
This is probably the best example of how useless the autocorrect feature is. Auto cucumber? God donut? When would someone EVER need to use those phrases? It seems like the iPhone also coined a new term for a blowjob – “drinking a willy.”
4. X-rated girl scout cookies
Apparently this woman participates in the trafficking and sex slave trade of Girl Scouts. Not only that, but one of her colleagues buys boxes of their vaginas.
5. Humming genitals
I wonder what exactly a humming clam sounds like. I would imagine a mix of Fran Drescher screaming and the purring of a large cat. And under what circumstance would a vagina hum? When a girl is horny? This could lead to a pretty awkward situation like when your family sits down to dinner and you hear noises coming from your mom and your sister.
6. An interesting place to store gum
This is one of my favorites. The image of my mom saying the word puss is hysterical, or any mom for that matter. And then imagining her telling me that she has a new back of juicy fruit stored in it… actually that’s not so funny anymore. I would probably barf.
7. Shaken too hard
I can’t even imagine receiving that text from my son. I love how she tells him to call his dad, as if it’s a dad’s job to clean up the jizz stains his son makes after jerking off too hard.
8. Millions of dildos
It’s even funnier when you keep in mind that a guy sent this. Imagine a bunch of guys just sitting around with their legs up in the air with different colored dildos up their butts. Apparently this is everything that makes him happy.
9. At least it’s shaved
This is perhaps the most horrifying autocorrect I have ever seen. I would consider moving out of the house if I was him. And his mom didn’t even answer! Hopefully she knows what autocorrect is, but then if she does, she’ll know that her son frequently writes pussy on his phone. So either way, this kid is screwed.
10. Haunted house
Technically this isn’t an autocorrect fail, but it’s still pretty funny. I’m not sure what the connection is between a haunted house and smelling vagina though.
