Hipsters are everywhere. They’re riding their bikes down your street in their skinny jeans. They’re in the corner of your class blasting their indie rock, and they’re the ones who are constantly hating on anything mainstream. Think you might be a hipster or have hipster-like qualities? If two or more of these apply to you, you might want to rethink that trip to the thrift store immediately.
Your Skinny Jeans Reach A New Level of Skinny
You know that pair of jeans in your closet that makes your bulge bulge out even more than usual? Those, my friend, are hipster skinny jeans. Hipster guys in skinny jeans literally are some of the skinniest guys I have ever seen. I never know if I should be jealous their legs are so thin, or if I should be freaked out that I can see the heat they are packing.
You Liked Something “BEFORE” It Was Cool
Hipsters hate mainstream, so the minute a band they found months ago is suddenly on the radio, it’s the end of the world. All those t-shirts get passed down to their teenybopper cousin and all those songs on iTunes are deleted. You, my friend, are so cool that you don’t need to listen to anything anyone else does because you’ve been there, done that, and blogged about it.
Your Drink of Choice is PBR
There is no acceptable reason why you would choose Pabst Blue Ribbon or PBR for anything other than being a hipster. It was the cool drink back in the day so now that it’s not, it’s cool for you to drink it.
You Wear Over-sized Glasses With No Lenses
Hipsters love to be ironic and there’s nothing more ironic than wearing glasses when you don’t need them. The bigger and more obnoxious, the better. When buying them, you look for the ones that make you look as close to Buddy Holly as possible.
You Never Answer A Question Directly
Why would you actually take the time to answer someone when you could be sarcastic and lie to them instead? If you sound sincere with your response, then you’re doing it all wrong. While you’re in a movie theater and something cool happens on-screen, if your friend asks you, “Did you just see that!?” A good hipster response would be, “No, I paid 10 bucks to take a nap.”
You Namedrop Like No Other
You are so hipster that you know all these bands whom no one else has ever heard of…and you like to let people know it. Referencing things no one has heard of and being able to call them out on their lack of good music taste is something every hipster lives for. Remember…as a hipster, you like bands that no one else does, but by no means are you a groupie.
Your Closet Consists of American Apparel and Vintage Clothes
You own the same hoodie in six colors. You little hipster you. You have to make sure it matches your six pairs of Chuck Taylor’s and coordinates with all that plaid in your closet. As far as vintage clothes go, being the ironic person that you are, you have plenty of shirts that feature pop culture references from the 80’s and 90’s. Anything that you can wear that a mainstream person wouldn’t, you’ll wear.
So there you have it. For some of you, this might be a harsh reality, but it’s okay to have some hipster-like tendencies. Maybe you’ll rethink those skinny jeans with the plaid and over-sized glasses next time you’re chugging your PBR, and trying to be ironic.
