I can’t possibly be the only person who loves the freeness of the hipster scene but hates how everyone and their great grandparents are jumping on the artfully scuffed hipster bandwagon. We get it, hipsters, you think you’re cooler than us. *cue Mike Posner* New Yorkers are fighting against the hipster scene, one borough at a time. Read on to see why hipsters should watch their backs when walking around this city.
Don’t Feed the Hipsters
Trustocorp, an NY-based group of artists dedicated to highlighting the hypocrisy of human behavior through sarcasm and satire, has added “Don’t Feed the Hipsters” signs in McCarren Park, Brooklyn. The irony being Brooklyn is to a hipster what a warm, dark place is to willyroaches — a breeding ground. Judging by some of the hipsters I see walking around, they don’t seem to require that much food. It takes some major starvation to fit into skinny jeans on a regular basis. But an all-out hipster boycott could be detrimental to their race. Hide your cigarettes and your bean sprout sandwich to keep safe — as if you’d eat that anyway.
Hipster Traps
All around Williamsburg, an unknown man is setting up hipster traps complete with a hipsters’ favorite items: neon-framed glasses, American Spirit cigarettes, Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and yellow bike chains. All that’s missing is the scuffed checkered Vans. Hipsters typically are pretty intellectual. But that combination might just be too enticing to resist. Be safe hipsters. You can’t rock torn up skinny jeans with one leg.
DieHipster.com
If the traps don’t convince you that there’s a hipster hate club out there, then DieHipster.com should. Started in 2007 [have hipsters been around THAT long?] the site features hilarious venting submissions and graphics real from New Yorker’s run-ins with hipsters. My favorite story on the site is “Today’s Hipster Beating.”
For the record, we here at The Campus Socialite don’t want you hipsters to die, but if we threw water on you and you wilted away slowly then that would be nice, too. KIDDING! Other people may not be, though. Tread carefully in the concrete jungle, hipsters.
