By Matt Schoenman
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To all of those people who said that Dexter was weak so far this season: Eat it. The third episode of the fifth season was not only intense, but also had its comedic undertones.
What happened, you ask? Well, Dex found Harrison a nanny, an older Irish chick who’s name I don’t remember (Did they even say her name? If you find out what it was, leave a comment). If you ask me, she’s definitely hiding something. Then again, it’s hard not to think that every new character is hiding a secret. But the first thing I said when I saw her was “she’s definitely a murderer.” If that actually happens, I won’t be too surprised.
Dexter also begins his healing process. How does he do this? By finally killing Boyd Fowler. But the encounter was not without its complications. To be more specific, the situation takes an interesting turn when Dex attempts to needle Boyd who, in turn, shoots him with a tranquiler dart. They both wake up in an ambulance, and what occurs is a series of awkward stares that I couldn’t help but laugh at. These two just couldn’t get their eyes off of each other. Both men ditch out of the hospital, and Boyd returns to his home, wary of what Dexter is and what he’s after. He carefully explores his house, but Dexter gets the better of him, and this time successfully kills him. There’s one problem though: a very dirty and traumitized Julia Stiles saw the whole thing go down from the attic that she was locked in. Apparently she was the next dead-girl-in-a-barrel for dear ‘ol Boyd. What is Dexter to do with this girl?
Dexter also brings Harrison to the therapist, who assures him that the child is still too young for cognitive functioning, and thus shouldn’t be affected by witnessing his mother’s death. Harrison’s murderous interaction with a ken doll shows otherwise though. Dexter is scared that Harrison will end up like him. We wouldn’t want that, now would we?
And then there’s all the miscellaneous plot, which, so far, doesn’t tie into Dexter’s plot, and thus seems kind of silly and uninteresting. More Santa Muerte killings, or as Deb would say, Santa Merde (Saint Shit, eh?). This victim was a shopkeeper who leaked some information to Deb and her little, suspicious Hispanic sidekick, and paid for it with his head.
Then there’s Quinn. He gets closer and closer to Dexter in every episode. He put together the sketches of Kyle Butler to form an image similar to Dexter. Now he’s made contact with the FBI in an attempt to get access to Arthur Mitchell’s family, specifically his son (as we see in next week’s preview). Two things can happen: Mitchell’s son will positively identify Dexter as Kyle Butler, or he will defend and cover for the killer. If you don’t remember, Mitchell attacked his son and the only person who was willing to stop him was the man they knew as “Kyle Butler.” So, depending on what little Mitchell says, there are a few options for Quinn. If he says that Butler is Dexter, then Quinn is almost certainly going to die. Maybe there will be some light suspense that leads up to the bloody demise. If he says that the man in the photo isn’t Butler, then Quinn has hit a dead-end: he can either just give up, or confront Dexter anyway (as I assume Quinn would do), which can also lead to his doom. So the odds of Quinn dying are pretty high, regardless of what happens.
And then, of course, there’s Batista and LaGuerta, once again having no usefulness to any of the main storylines and acting merely as filler. Internal Affairs is investigating Angel after the bar fight he was involved in. If you don’t remember, some other detective said LaGuerta gave a great BJ, and then Angel proceeded to kick the living stuff out of him. When Batista confronted LaGuerta about it, you could tell that it was totally true. The look she had on her face was totally the look of someone who felt guilty for sucking some other dude’s dick in the distant past. That’s right LaGuerta, it’s all your fault. Your husband is getting sued and investigated just because you put those DSL’s around some other dude’s schlong. So what’s the purpose of this storyline again? I know I sound like a broken record, but they should both just die already.
