Mr. Irrelevant is Back!

By: Kevin Plaza

Last year it was Ryan Succop, a kicker from South Carolina University drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs. This year, the Detroit Lions hold the last pick of the 2010 draft and boy is it a big one. With that very pick, you can draft guys like David Vobora, Marty Moore and Jim Finn, game changers, even franchise changers in their own right. Nah, I’m just kidding, Mr. Irrelevant is just another part of the event that is the 2010 NFL Draft and with the draft being just a few short days away, you know what that means! MOCK DRAFT! Yea I know you have probably seen millions of these things but, this guy right here has the best one, one which will really make you think and incorporate what teams are actually really looking for with the pick that they hold. Who am I kidding, it’s probably just like all the rest but mine is just cooler ok?! You got it? Let’s go…

St Louis Rams- Sam Bradford-Hmmm, what do the Rams really, really need. Well to start, how about a few wide receivers, some offensive lineman and a defense that doesn’t give up 30 points a game. But overall they need to start off with a franchise QB and that man is Sam Bradford. He really impressed all the scouts at his pro day and looks like he could step right in like Matt Stafford did last year and help this team get in the right direction. This pick is a high risk, high reward pick, because of the shoulder problems Bradford has had, if he is healthy then boom, you got yourself a Pro Bowl QB for the next 10 years, if not healthy, then Rams fans, you should just start your move to Los Angeles now.
Detroit Lions- Ndamukong Suh- The Lions made the right pick last year with Stafford and it seems that with Calvin Johnson catching the passes, their offense might be able to win them some games this year, maybe even more then 2? Well if you want to win more then 2 games you also have to have people that can hit other people and get them scared. Well that’s what Suh does, he is scary but also nice all in the same sentence. He is a monster but a monster that donates his money back to his school. Lions fans better hope the make the right choice between Suh and the next guy off the board.
Tampa Bay Bucs- Gerald McCoy- The Bucs are a team that pisses me off. They really do. They basically got rid of all the big names, even though they are old, like Derrick Brookes, for younger guys, but younger guys that can’t play football. They did a terrible job in replacing talent that they lost this year and last year, which led them to being 3-13, no bueno guys. Its time to ask Jon “ Chucky” Gruden to come back and be a crazy, evil maniac again. Since you cant and wont do that, then you have to go out and draft Gerald McCoy. This guy has Warren Sapp written all over him. And what does Warren Sapp have? A super bowl ring. And who doesn’t want more rings?
Washington Redskins- Russell Okung- 6’5, 300 pounds of offensive tackle beast. Hey you got the QB in Washington now with Donovan McNabb, now you need someone to keep him upright and throwing the ball to, to ,to, of yea Santana Moss I guess.
Kansas City Chiefs- Bryan Bulaga- Well we saw this last year with the Chiefs, passing up some defensive talent in Aaron Curry and drafting someone who was at best a mid level first rounder in Tyson Jackson. This year, they will pass up on safety Eric Berry and draft Bryan Bulaga, who is a mid level first rounder, to fill a need in one of their offensive tackle spots. Well Matt Cassell, you got some protection now, it might not be good protection but it is protection, so good luck Matty boy.
Seattle Seahawks- Jimmy Clausen- to Jimmy? Or not to Jimmy? That is the question. Well with Pete Carroll on board and ready to actually try and have a good NFL team this time, I think he wants to start a new with the QB position and set a tone in this franchise. With Clausen you get a guy that has been in a NFL style offense in Notre Dame and could fit right in, think Mark Sanchez like, getting drafted in the 6^th pick and starting right away. He might go threw some bumpy roads but this kid has a cannon arm and can make up for some of his other flaws.
Cleveland Browns- Derrick Morgan- Eric Mangini, how are ya? Did you have fun trading all the talent on your team and talent that could have been on your team last year? Did ya? Well now with Kameron Wimbley gone, one of your best linebackers, I think the right decision would be to select Morgan out of Georgia Tech and watch him get after the QB.
Oakland Raiders- Terrence Williams- Hey Oakland, remember Robert Gallery? Haha good times, good joke right? He has been ok at best and has to move around to guard because he can not handle the speed of some end rusher. Well since JaMarcus Russel isn’t even good, lets protect him and make him alittle better then terrible. So lets draft Williams, who reminds me of Okung except 8 pounds heavier and without the mean streak.
Buffalo Bills- Eric Berry- Well since Clausen is gone and they have so many needs to even take this team out of the AFC East cellar, why not take the best available player in Eric Berry. If I owned the NFL Draft I would let the New York Jets get the first pick and make them draft this guy. Very talented, covers the field so well, can put a lick on ya and can run when he gets the ball, everything you can ask for in a safety. Think poor man’s Ed Reed.
Jacksonville Jaguars- Tim Tebow- Yup, Tim Tebow going tenth. Safe this franchise Tim, I think they will most likely trade down to take him, but if they have to stay here, I still think this is their player and they will live and die by him.
Denver Broncos- Rolando McClain-The defense started out so strong but just could not get to the QB toward the end of the year. Bring in the leader of the best defense in college football in Rolando McClain from Alabama. You know nick Saban told this guy and taught him how to play defense in the NFL, so this would be the Broncos best idea at this pick.
Miami Dolphins- Dan Williams- Jason Taylor is gone and Jason Ferguson is getting old in the 3-4 defense. So bring in 6’2, 311 pounds of nose tackle muscle and try to compete in the toughest division in football.
San Francisco 49ers- Earl Thomas- They have a few good safeties already, but with Michael Lewis getting older and not being able to play every down, Thomas to the 9ers would be a great fit and really solidify this defense.
Seattle Seahawks- C.J Spiller- You got your QB in Clausen, now reshape your running game and draft the next fastest thing to Chris Johnson in Spiller. The guy can just flatout, out run you, I don’t care who you are, you give him any space and the next thing you are going to see is a cloud of dust.
New York Giants- Joe Haden- Your corners are either really bad, or always hurt. When you put that together, you get burned a lot. Like for over 40 points against the Eagles with DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin. So with the signing of Antrell Rolle and reshaping that secondary, Joe Haden would be perfect. Excellent football IQ and has the wheels to keep up with Jackson and Maclin.
Tennessee Titans- Jason PierrePaul- Kyle Van Den Bosch is gone and with him go most of your sacks and leadership on defense. PierrePaul, although light, but can bulk up, have the motor and speed to get to the QB and bring some more youth to this defensive line.
San Francisco 49ers- Anthony Davis- A beast of a man, huge monster size, in 6’6, 325, will be able to muscle up with the big boys at offensive tackle, which a position of concern for the Niners because they need to protect whoever is going to throw the ball for them next year.
Pittsburgh Steelers- Mike Iupati- Whether he is going to block and protect Big Ben or not this year, he is going to be the Steelers answer for when Alan Faneca left.
Atlanta Falcons- Brandon Graham- When I saw the Falcons gets Tony Gonzalez last offseason, I thought for sure there were no holes on this team and they would definitely be a playoff team. Well they weren’t, and defense had a big part in that. Graham can fit right in with the linebackers and make a lot of tackles but he can also mix it up and spell John Abraham on the edge and rush the passer as well.
Houston Texans- Maurkice Pouncey- Can play many different positions on the offensive line in Guard or Center. Brings depth and size up front for the guys in the trenches, who knows he could be the final piece for the Texans taking the next step.
Cincinnati Bengals- Dez Bryant- The first wideout taken in this draft will be Bryant. I realize they just signed Antonio Bryant and the still have Chad Ochocinco, but why not draft another loud mouthed, dysfunctional wide receiver right?
New England Patriots- Jermaine Gresham- We all saw how much Tom Brady loved to throw it to the underneath guys last year, well Tom meet Jermaine, he will be your new Tight End and he will be your new underneath weapon.
Green Bay Packers- Bruce Campbell- Aaron Rodgers, how did it feel to be the most sacked QB in the NFL last year, also how did it feel to blow the playoff shootout against the Cardinals because of another offensive line miscue? Well Campbell is here to help and develop into your new offensive tackle. Now good luck with the other 4 linemen positions.
Philadelphia Eagles- Charles Brown- Brown has a chance to take over the spot opposite of Jason Peters, who he can learn from and develop into a solid lineman to protect McNabb, oh yea we went through this already, I mean Kevin Kolb….ewwww
Baltimore Ravens- Jared Odrick-Tony Siragusa are you around here? There you are, but your in the form of Jared Odrick.
Arizona Cardinals- Sean Weatherspoon- See ya later Karlos Dansby, hello Sean Weatherspoon, we can only hope you wont get into a DUI the first week you’re here like our other newly acquired linebacker Joey Porter.
Dallas Cowboys- Rodger Saffold- the whole offensive line is getting older and not better, so in comes 6’5, 312 Saffold.
San Diego Chargers- Ryan Mathews- L.T is gone, and Darren Sproles needs someone to knock some heads before he takes the ball and runs around everyone. Well here is your thunder in Mathews to your lightning in Sproles.
New York Jets- Kyle Wilson- The team building to become to 2010 Super Bowl Champs will be selecting Kyle Wilson. I know we just got Cromartie and there is no reason for another corner, well there is. We need depth and Wilson can play special teams, return kicks and play nickel corner as well. Good Luck rest of the league.
Minnesota Vikings- Everson Griffen- How about adding to a line that already has 3 Pro bowlers on it. Well defense meet Griffen he will be your 4^th Pro Bowler on the defensive line.
Indianapolis Colts- Brian Price- Peyton is Peyton and the offense will put up points, but the up the middle defense needs some help and that is where this defensive tackle comes in.
2009 NFL Champs New Orleans Saints- Taylor Mays- Possible replacement for Darren Sharper who can knock out an on coming truck.

Skip through the rest of the draft to the Lions with the last pick of the NFL draft – how bout we go with, ummmm, Seyi Ajirotutu, WR from Fresno State, c’mon his name is pretty cool. Enjoy the draft football fans.