By: Rock Comedian Brian Smith
I grew up in an upper, middle class town in Northern New Jersey which meant two things: I was really good at country club sports, and my parents kicked me out of the house every summer and sent me to summer camp. I loved camp because in New Jersey, I was a mediocre athlete, but at camp, I was the All-Star of every sport I played amidst a bunch of Jewish kids with two left feet.
In my last year of camp, being a good athlete finally paid off with the ladies. It was perfect timing too. I was fifteen, girls started growing tits, and I couldn’t control my erections. Fuck puberty. After making out with a few prude girls in the beginning of summer, I met a girl at canteen (a popular late-night hang out at summer camp) one night who I took a liking to. She was short, petite, had blonde hair, and blue eyes. Her only flaw was that she had a mouth full of metal. We started making out behind the pool shed the night we met, and much to my surprise, hooking up with a girl with braces wasn’t so bad.
A few nights later, I found myself lying with my new friend on the soccer field, and after a few minutes of making out, she started unzipping my pants. After a few fantastic licks of my lollipop, it started getting a little rough. It was the kind of rough that produces pain, and the kind of pain that makes a guy stop a blowjob; mid-blowjob. I ran back to my bunk to make sure everything was alright with my little friend, and not to my surprise, she cut me! That Bitch! She cut me right on my dome!
It’s the ten year anniversary of that horrific night. Unfortunately, every time I look down, I am painfully reminded of that evening by the little scar that rests on the tip of my rod. I never talked to the culprit again. She was so mortified she couldn’t look me in the eye the rest of the summer. The jokes on me though. I recently Facebook stalked her and she’s smokin’ hot with perfect teeth!
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