By Finn Finkel
Every college student has different go-to sleeping attire, whether it be regular pajamas, nothing, or party clothes. Most opt for comfort, some for stylish, sexy lingerie, and others for nothing. As I see it they break down into the following categories.
PJ’d Up
I never quite understood this group. But then again it could be because I fall into the later categories. People get these nice sets of pajamas and even go so far as to buy a variety. Have a car for every day of the week? Yeah, well, I got PJ’s for every night of the week. Some even buy name brand pajamas (stuff I’d much rather splurge on some baller ass sheets). Anyway I’m sure you’re real comfortable in your embroidered PJ’s. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be keeping it raw on my sheets made of extinct and rare animals.
Underwear
This used to be my go-to, just throw on some loose boxers, maybe a baggy ass shirt if I was in the mood. Not a bad route to go, after realizing you don’t have to spend on some name brand PJ’s to be comfortable. Just get some nice worn-in comfortable clothing you probably wouldn’t ever wear outside unless you are indulging in one of my favorite past times, impersonating hobos. This is the all around safe bet. It also allows for easier access when wanting to get down and dirty, only to be surpassed by the next category.
Raw
So I like to sleep in the raw, big whoop. The freedom, the animalistic tendencies, and being one with mother nature are all obvious reasons to sleep in the nude. Not to mention you have to spend absolutely zero dollars on any type of clothing, so you are being fiscally responsible. Sleeping ass naked is a passed down tradition from our ancestors (you know damn well not all the cavemen could afford that spiffy orange fur Fred Flinstone was rocking back in the day). Keep it lewd, sleep in the nude.
Night Clothes
EVERYBODY knows the feeling of waking up fully clothed, it’s pretty much the passage of any person who has drank to excess. Sure it’s not comfortable when you wake up and attempt to scratch your balls only to find a denim force-field blocking you. But you are one step ahead of all those people who have to put on clothes before taking off to their favorite breakfast spot. And I will be damned if there is anyway someone is getting a fresher meal than me. You call it irresponsible to forget to change before passing out? I call it being so incredibly prepared that even I forgot how much I was thinking ahead.
If you don’t fall into one of these categories, congratulations! You have stumped my theories and created some parallel existing fifth style of sleepwear. I’ll still be having a ball sleeping butt-ass naked.
