Sean Parker

The reason Justin Timberlake, of all people, was cast to play Sean Parker is because only he could conjure up the Badassitude it would take to play the genius pirate millionaire. I could give you a whole history of his rise to tech stardom, but just to illustrate my point, I will give you the small sample size of 7 days. Thesis statement: Sean Parker has done more Boss things in the last week than you’ve done in your whole life.

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We know that you’re probably just waking up about now. Realistically, no one in their right mind has class before noon anyway. So force yourself out of bed, have a pre-lunch burn sesh, and take a look at this delicious infographic to get your mouth watering. Afterwards, march on down to the dining hall and demand that the idiots working the grill make you a bacon-wrapped hot dog.

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We understand that the last 24 hours have been very stressful for everyone. Facebook looks completely different, there’s new windows, there’s new colors and nobody knows what to do with themselves. Take our word though, this is not a time for uproar and hatred. I just sat through the entire Mark Zuckerberg conference, and the only verdict to make is that Facebook is doing some really, really amazing things. Overwhelmed? Allow us to explain everything.

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The Campus Socialite is going to be in State College this weekend for the Blitz & Beatz “White-Out” Rave featuring David Berrie, and we’re joined by our good friends at “I Wish I Thought Of That” Tees. These guys have all the shirts that you wish you thought of, and probably always wanted to make yourself. They’re funny, obscure, and comfortable, and you should probably buy one now.

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