By: Scott Yager
A long time ago I said to myself that no matter HOW bad The Expendables was…that I would most likely still enjoy it. Well…The Expendables was THAT bad…but I can’t say I was disappointed or surprised. I mean come on, is there really a scenario in which that movie would ever be good? That a script could have been so carefully crafted as to have woven all of these larger than life stars into a myriad of action packed fight scenes and emotion fueled encounters creating the best original action film in years. Please…
I am sure guys everywhere will admit that when they first heard something about this movie, rumors, gossip, tall tales of a film that would bring the action flick back to its roots by combining legends of old and stars of the present it…it sounded like the COOLEST MOVIE EVER.
Even though some of the action is cool, the hokey dialogue and the lackluster story structure makes this an average action movie at best, one with few actors that actually seem to belong in it. With the exception of Eric Roberts, Jason Statham, Jet Li and Mickey Rourke it seemed like the rest of this cast more or less just took up space in their own way. Randy Couture’s dialogue was particularly embarrassing and it was impossible to take his character seriously at all. Not like you were meant to. The movie isn’t as corny as say…Indiana Jones 4…but it does still remind you of how the once normal tone of “kill…say something witty…kill…” is somewhat cliché and out of place in the year 2010. This of course is heightened tremendously when those “witty” comments aren’t funny and only take away from the moment.
Unfortunately dudes around the world have most likely had the most fun they are going to have regarding The Expendables…when they heard about it for the first time, talked about it over a few beers, watched the trailer over and over again and wondered about what it would be like if guys like Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger still ruled Hollywood. Speaking of the Governator…his scene…a throw in that couldn’t have possibly still been a secret to anyone at this point, was an afterthought, something blatantly thrown in for nostalgic value that does not deliver. The scene even looks so weird (tons of bad transitioning from close up to close up) that it makes you wonder if they shot the whole thing with everyone there.
It was fun while it lasted…the benefit of the doubt that is…
