Maybe you’ve never had a valentine, so this holiday means nothing to you. But maybe, this is your first year being single and you have no idea what to do with yourself on Monday while everyone else is wining and dining and doing the dirty.
As we girls know, and as our own Sexually Frustrated points out for us, guys are stupid, and they can make a lovely glass of wine into a big case of whine and complaints. So who needs them? Girls, you’re too good for all that.
So, all you single ladies, throw the tears and tissues away and read on to see what you can do this weekend to have the sexiest Valentine’s Day of your life.
No one wants to spend the night alone, so the first thing you need to do is get your closest, also unhitched girl friends to spend the holiday together. I’m going to quiz you now, and if you can agree and follow through with the ideas presented below, then you’re up for one hell of a night.
Question 1: Who doesn’t feel sexy when they put on lingerie?
Maybe you’ve never had a valentine, so this holiday means nothing to you. But maybe, this is your first year being single and you have no idea what to do with yourself on Monday while everyone else is wining and dining and doing the dirty.
You don’t need a man to tell you how pretty you look, because let’s face it, they enjoy it for about seven minutes then it’s thrown on the floor in a crumbled pile. Does it seem weird to you, putting on your red satin nightie and hanging out with your girl friends? It may be a bit awkward at first, but what about all of those private sex toy parties you and the girls go to? It’s cool – dress up together, and you’ll all feel sensual.
Question 2: Do you usually cook big meals?
Maybe you’ve never had a valentine, so this holiday means nothing to you. But maybe, this is your first year being single and you have no idea what to do with yourself on Monday while everyone else is wining and dining and doing the dirty.
In college, you probably don’t cook anything too extreme. Instead of you standing over the oven cooking a quaint meal for two (if you and your man would have decided to stay in), all you girls should cook together. Something more elaborate, maybe pork chops and rice and salad or something. It would be fun, all of you cooking – or trying – together. Make sure the first bottle of red wine has been uncorked before the cooking begins!
Question 3: Do sappy movies make you sad?
Probably. Regardless of how “girly” you are, “The Notebook” is not a movie to watch without becoming sentimental. Yes, it’s a classic love story (which makes it perfect for Valentine’s Day) that is also completely unrealistic…so why should you put yourself through the tears? Uh, you shouldn’t. I’d recommend comedies for the night spent on the couch with the girls. You could stick to chick flicks, but I’d go with the “Along Came Polly” type.
Question 4: Are you sick of doing the same things over and over?
I know I am. The couch movie date is always nice, but after a while, it’s like, “Okay, I watched six hours of movies and blah. Boring. How about…a board game?” I know I have a game called “I’ve Never…” – it’s like an adult version of Candyland, and it’s a lot of fun. Try picking up some unusual games that aren’t juvenile, and – keep the wine flowing, obviously – try and play.
Question 5: Do you love chocolate?
Are you a girl? You girls should be willing to bathe in chocolate after all of the wine, delicious food, and games that make you admit your deepest sexual fantasies – not to mention you’re dressed for attention. You’ve got options here: you can buy berries and bananas and melt chocolate all over them, hence, chocolate covered strawberries and bananas. Or, my personal favorite, although I do love chocolate strawberries, is fondue. If you melt a whole bowl of chocolate, you lovely ladies can dip whatever you want in it: fruit, carbs, your finger…there’s no limit!
You’ll get drunk. You’ll be with your closest girls, so there will be nothing held back. And you’ll have fun. You’ll bond in a totally different way, and you just may forget it’s Valentine’s Day. Either way, you’ll wake up in the morning happy with the way you spent your holiday. So all the single ladies, put your hands up!
