Sometimes being in a relationship is easier than breaking up. Break-ups are painful, awkward, and drawn-out for a reason, they suck. It’s never as easy as it looks in movies, a break-up text is basically asking for a punch in the face, and the whole “it’s me, not you” excuse works about as good as pulling out. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
So when do you know it’s time to end things? Is it when he cheats on you for the third time with his ex-girlfriend? Yes. Is it when you haven’t showed affection in months? Yes. Is it when he yells at you for hogging the remote? Probably not. Here’s a few helpful tips that will help you decide if it’s time to stay together or break-up.
You Never Do Anything Just the Two of You
Whenever you see each other, you’re always with friends or family and never spend any time alone. You can’t remember the last time you guys went to the movies on a whim, just so you could make out in the empty theater and get out of the house on a Tuesday. When you’re in a relationship, especially a long-term one, it’s crucial to keep the spark alive. You have to spice up your relationship somehow. If neither of you have the time, energy, or desire to go on dates and spend time together alone, then why are you together?
You Can’t Put Into Words Why You’re Still Together
If you’re wondering whether or not your relationship has reached a breaking point, ask yourself why you are with your significant other. If you can’t name a reason, then it’s time to break-up. It should be an easy question to answer, you love that person, they make you feel good, you can’t imagine your life without them, and so on. If you have to think about the answer to this question, it’s time to move on.
You’re Only in the Relationship Because It’s Convenient
You have all the same friends, you hang out at all the same bars, you shop at the same mall, you even work out at the same gym, so it’s hard to get away from each other. Your lives are so connected because you’ve been dating for a couple years that it’s just easier to stay together than break up. Putting up with the bull stuff is better than going over to his place and getting all your stuff. Like Dane Cook said, you have like a million CD’s in his car…you can’t break up, it’s too hard. Well, CD’s are out, and iPod’s are in, so throw out your old relationship and enjoy being single.
You’re Only in the Relationship Because You’re Scared of Finding Someone New
You don’t want to break up because you don’t feel like starting over. You don’t want to have to go on bad first dates and meet people at bars, you just want to be in a relationship. Just because you’re scared of starting over at 23 is not a reason to stay in a bad relationship! If it’s bad now, it’s not going to get any better. Relationships now should be easy and fun, because once you get older and married, you’re going to have bills, children, and wrinkles. Things aren’t going to change if they haven’t in the past three years. You can only work on a relationship for so long before you have to accept that it’s time to move on. And starting over in your early 20’s is a hell of a lot easier than starting over when you’re 35 and divorced.
One of You Cheated
If you’re in a committed relationship and your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you, it’s not really a committed relationship anymore. Once one of you breaks that trust, it’s hard to get back and relationships crumble under the pressure of it. She can’t forgive you for what you did and throws it in your face all the time, and even though it was a one time thing and you were drunk, you can’t take it back. If forgiveness is out of the question, then your relationship is over.
The Sex Isn’t Good Anymore
This is pretty self-explanatory. If you can’t even make the sex work anymore, then what can you make work. Some people think sex isn’t that important in a relationship, and while that may be true for them, for most people it is important, very important. The physical closeness of sex and intimacy that comes along with it, is what at the end of the day sets you apart from your relationships with everyone else. It is something special the two of you share that no one else knows about (besides your girlfriends). If you only have sex missionary or are thinking about what’s on TV instead of pleasing your partner, then it’s time to break-up. They make vibrators for a reason, ladies.
He’s a Drug Dealer
Unless he sells pot to you for free (just kidding), tell him to get out of the game or find someone new. You don’t need to be constantly worrying if your boyfriend is in jail or in the back of a cop car, it’s stressful and annoying. Plus, 3 a.m. phone calls from people who want to come over while you’re in his bed? No thanks.
