Let’s get really immature here: taking a nice, relaxing number-two in your own home is one of the great small, daily joys in life. In our own homes, around everything that makes us comfortable, that’s where we drop our best deuces. When we’re away from home, say, at the mall or at someone else’s house, we can never seem to find the same level of comfort. Some of us have an easier time adjusting to the new poop environment than others; but ultimately, at least you have a pot to stuff in. We can’t always be so lucky.

Every once in a while we all find ourselves in our car or on the train and the sudden urge to poop strikes. We all understand that horror too well. Unlike your normal at-home poop urges, this one is a true urgency. You don’t have a toilet within easy walking distance. You have to transport yourself a long distance to relieve yourself. In this case, this “long distance” may only be less than a mile as you’re driving yourself home. But that less-than-a-mile will seem like an eternity when you’ve got to hit the head. In situations like these we go through stages of panic and fear as we race to the toilet we call home.

Check out The Traumatizing Stages of an Emergency Number-Two and more from our friends at Holy Taco