Here we are, back again for this week’s rendition of, “Weekly Rant by the Sexually Frustrated.” I’m sure you have expected this article since this is obviously the least favorite holiday amongst the sexually frustrated population. However, I think this rant might surprise you with whom I’m ranting about for this Valentine’s Day. Check it out after the jump.
This holiday is most annoying, not necessarily because I’m horny and alone (though that’s obviously annoying also), but rather, because of all the girls frickin complaining 24/7. Some of the girls I know who are in relationships are so ridiculously shallow, it’s unreal. They expect their boyfriends to lay out the world for them. To throw their jackets over a puddle so the girl doesn’t have to step in it. To buy them insanely-priced shoes they will never need (and will consequently never wear since they are so frickin expensive). To cast away their manhood and watch chick flicks that most girls wouldn’t even want to watch.
Sorry girls, this isn’t “The Notebook.” While I would love some romance in my life, I don’t expect it all the time. There are times when guys have to watch chick flicks to make their girlfriends happy (honestly, guys secretly enjoy certain chick flicks anyway), and other times when they need to put their foot down so they aren’t whipped bitches. Stop expecting the world from your boyfriends, especially on this terrible day. Valentine’s Day is a day that makes insecure single girls feel borderline suicidal and gives girls in relationships the excuse to be pissed at their boyfriends.
So everyone, just stop. I’m sick of it. This is any old Monday where I am forced to work at the restaurant, still dateless, but who cares? You don’t see me going home, crying to my girlfriends about how I’m not loved. Rather, most of my friends are crying more about not “getting it in” rather than not being cuddled with.
So, in conclusion, girls, if you’re in a relationship, be nice to your boyfriend (as long as he’s good to you). He’s stressed out over this holiday as much as the next guy, so he doesn’t need you breathing down his neck when you are probably not even getting him a gift anyway. And single girls, stop complaining about not having a date. If you force a guy to go on a date with you today, chances are it will be really frickin awkward and make you feel even worse about yourself. So take a page out of the “Single Girl’s Guide to Valentine’s Day,” and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Send Hallmark a stuff-infested letter telling them you hate them, but really, that should be it. Because there’s no reason to hate yourself. Fuck Valentine’s Day.
