Welcome to the “Weekly Rant by the Sexually Frustrated,” a weekly column written by me, the fabulous Campus Diva who is just constantly sexually frustrated. What’s pissing me off this week? Read after the jump to see how girls and guys have switched places, and why all you college guys are pussies.
Something my single girl friends and I have been discussing lately is how the sexual universe has transformed. Girls have now become guys. I’ve noticed I have become more manly than most of the guys I hook up with, and I wouldn’t even say I go for pussies. Yes, I have commitment issues and I will be the first one to admit it, but guys have become so frickin clingy lately it’s unfrickinreal.
I was talking to this guy about two months ago (and by talking I mean he would text me and I would respond when I chose to) and we decided to make plans to grab a drink and see a movie one night.
First off, I didn’t consider this a date because I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea, but I was feeling him out. I mean, maybe he’s actually really cool and he’s a friend of a friend, so who knows? So we go and see this movie. It was my choice so, clearly, I want to watch the frickin movie. Immediately, as soon as we sit down, he starts trying to have a conversation.
Um…we’re in a frickin movie you idiot. If you wanted to have a long, in-depth conversation, take me out to dinner. I’m not going to spend $10.50 on a movie I actually want to see, and be forced to have a conversation and look like that douche bag as the movie’s going on. No one likes people who talks during movies, so don’t make me be that girl.
I immediately said to him, “Um, we’re in a movie, so we can just talk after.”
He noticeably got offended. Already I know this guy is not for me. After the movie, we go and grab a couple drinks. We actually had a really good conversation but I could tell I wasn’t sexually interested in him. I immediately expressed this fact when he began to blatantly ask me if I was interested (which I also found weird).
I told him I was not interested in him in that way (in the nicest way possible) and I said, “If you feel you could just be friends, I would like to be. But otherwise, we won’t make it in the dating way.”
He seemed to take it well and acted like he wanted to be friends since he had said so. Fast forward to the next night. This frickin guy is drunk texting me like a little bitch saying how much he likes me. First of all, I wasn’t trying to play hard to get. I straight up frickin told you I wasn’t interested. Second of all, have some frickin dignity. Stop texting me drunk and telling me you like me when I’m clearly not interested. Third of all, you don’t even know me, who are you to say you like me? And fourth of all, most importantly, do not start calling me a bitch when I don’t take this drunk rambling well.
You were forewarned. I told you I didn’t like you, so man up, grow some balls, and stop being a frickin pussy. If a girl doesn’t like you, and she is like me, she will absolutely tell you. While you college guys reading this might think to yourself, “Well that guy was a pussy, I’m not a pussy,” I’ll tell you one thing right now. You are probably a pussy also.
So to reiterate, I’m not playing hard to get, I just don’t like you. I can’t speak for other girls (guaranteed there are a bunch of bitches out there), but I am not teasing you. So stop Facebook popping me, stop texting me drunk, and stop texting me the day after using the excuse you were wasted. Sorry bud, the jig is up.
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