Welcome to the latest edition of “Weekly Rant by the Sexually Frustrated,” a weekly column written by me, the fabulous Campus Diva who needs to get some things off her chest. Read about the infamous booty calls after the jump.
We all do it. We get drunk and think that person we hooked up with a couple times, wants nothing more than for us to text them late at night, asking if they want to come over. But what about when it happens to you? When you receive that infamous text at 1:30 a.m. or later, saying “Hey what are you doing?” or if the guy is really classy, “Hey what are you doing? Cause you could be doing me.” Oh…really? I could!? Oh my gosh, I didn’t know that, let me come over and suck your dick!
Uh, no, sorry, that doesn’t happen. At least not when the girl has the slightest bit of respect for herself. While booty calls are sometimes flattering and sometimes even welcome, other times they lead to awkwardness and the abrupt end to a blossoming friend-with-benefits situation. But what pisses me off more than anything is when a guy texts me or calls me for a booty call, when he doesn’t have the right to do so.
If we used to hook up but it ended, or we have barely hooked up before, what makes you think you have the right to text me at 1:30 a.m. asking if I want to come over? Here’s how a real conversation went:
Him: “Hey baby, what are you up to?”
Me: “At a house party. It’s alright. How are you?”
Him: “Better now 🙂 🙂 I was thinking you should come over. Half hour? 🙂 :)”
Me: “Umm I have to wake up early, and it will be 2 a.m. then”
Him: “Baby it’s okay, just come over for an hour 🙂 :)”
Me: “Sorry sweetie, I haven’t talked to you or seen you sober in a month. I’m not exactly looking for a booty call. If you want to call me sober at some point to hang out, sure, but don’t try to booty call me”
Him: “Oh, whatever ttyl”
First of all, what’s with the smiley faces? We both know you’re texting multiple girls, so the smileys don’t make me feel special. Second of all, who do you think you are? You don’t know me well enough to tell me I will only be coming over for an hour. Girls like to be respected. Especially me.
So respect me, and act like it. Don’t text me at 2 in the frickin morning and act like it’s fine. And better yet, don’t act like I’m an butt when I call you out on all this. So next time you think it’s a good idea to text me late night, think again.
