By Elizabeth Narins (Syracuse University)
Post-graduation, you never know what you’re gonna get… but take our word for it: It’s likely to be a tough crowd. The competition is fierce since girls will think twice about hooking up with an entry-level dude. And kiss your sex life goodbye if you’re expecting to get laid after wining and dining a girl ONCE. At the very least, you’ve gotta grapple for a second date (yes, we mean date). What is that? You think getting a second date will be easy? Good fudgein’ luck. Exhibit A: One guy goes all-out with this ballsy plea for a second date… and the girl forwards it verbatim to a nine-chick panel for a joint consensus on whether to “yey” or “nay” him. Here’s his message and the panel’s response with the girl’s consensus to follow. (Don’t say we didn’t warn you about the tough crowd):
Girl one: Hahahahhahahahahah Weiiiiirddddd. Don’t do it.
Girl two: How bizarre, how bizarre…
Girl three: Awww that’s cute!!!!
Girl four: He’s def kidding, but a little odd for my taste! maybe give him another chance?
Girl five: OK I seriously can’t stop laughing…is this guy for real?!?!?!!?!
Girl six: Wow. I don’t even have a response. That kid sounds like he needs to be unfriended on fb. I’m sorry u had to deal with that. Let’s get drunk tonight.
Girl seven: I would go on second date, he could be entertaining (and a free meal).
Girl eight: You should say yes. It sounds like he’s DTF.
Girl nine: OMFG, where do I even begin…
1. This might just be me, but he uses the exclamation point a little too liberally for my liking in his fb message. Boys that use the exclamation point that frequently are also likely to be the boys that send smiley faces in their text messages which is almost as bad as boys that still wear Oakley sunglasses with the orange and/or blue mirror tinted lenses YIKES.
2. Did his mom proof read the fb message before he sent it? Look at his use of paragraphs, proper use of contractions, punctuation (minus the over use of the exclamation point), proper spelling and sentence structure. This is the most well executed facebook message from a structural perspective that I have ever seen in my life..the content of the message however, is a whole other issue.
3. After reading this message I have come to the following conclusions: A. He is in love with his mother B. His mother and his dog are quite possibly his only friends C. He never had cable growing up and still doesn’t cause there is so much good stuff on tv it’s not even funnnyy.
After reading my e-mail, I’m assuming it’s pretty evident as to why I haven’t had a boyfriend since 7th grade considering I have a problem over-analyzing the weirdest crap.
The Consensus
At this point you’re probably staying up at night wondering whether this kid got a second date (or more likely, whether he got laid). Well, here’s what he got:
Bottom line: Go out on a limb to catch a girl’s attention in the real world, and you’ll be dealing with the likes of this. So, how ‘bout that girl you’ve got?
