By: Travis Harvey (Illinois State University)
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During the summer there are few things I like more than just relaxing by the pool soaking up the rays, which I personally don’t need because I sport a nice year-round tan. Laying there allowing the sun to engulf my body I’m relaxed nothing can bother me… until they arrive. The ‘they’ I refer to are the obnoxious people who don’t consider that there are others around them. These people are the ones that make you dread going to the pool, the ones that make you think about sitting at the bottom of the pool the entire time.
Because job hunting sucks, I do what any other self respecting college kid would do… go to the pool and drink. I think this is why I get extra annoyed when I see that idiot with the Frisbee who doesn’t actually know how to throw a Frisbee, do everyone a favor and just STOP. Please don’t get me started on the kids who look like they haven’t seen the sun in years… that’s for a different article (but please if that’s you seek a tanning bed ASAP you’re scaring the Twilight kids).
Here are six simple rules to your summer at the pool, if you follow these you will help make the pool experience a little better for some of us, oh and if these rules are too complex for you do us all a favor stay home and play in the bathtub or something.
Rule # 6 be careful of who you throw into the pool– cell phones and iPods are really expensive to replace and the wrath of a person whose phone was in their pocket when they were thrown in the pool is not something you want to experience. Plus replacing a phone or iPod is expensive and we all know we’re poor college students.
Rule # 5 we’re all here to have fun and have some drinks don’t overdo it– seriously I don’t want to swim in your beer, nor do I want to swim or walk in your puke, so man up and get it together. Another reason is over drinking at the pool could be dangerous… what if you slip and get hurt? Not only are you moaning in agony on the ground but the fun is over for everyone and no one likes a buzz kill…
Rule #4 splashing– watch out for the people around you, if you don’t know them they’ll probably get annoyed with you splashing them constantly. I understand that cannon balls are fun for everyone involved (I’ve been there), but they are kind of obnoxious when it’s a smaller pool, but if everyone is doing it…take a look at people’s faces around the pool, they probably aren’t happy.
Rule #3 DON’T PEE IN THE POOL– this one is seems like it would be obvious, but some people think it’s acceptable. I really wish every pool came equipped with the chemical that turns the water blue when you pee like in the commercial for the movie Grown ups. Peeing in the pool is just unacceptable, last time I checked peeing your pants hasn’t been OK since we were six.
Rule # 2 PDA… there are limits– there’s not much to say here just don’t grind on each other in the pool when its crowded with people.. get a room. I don’t care if you’re making out or whatever as long as it doesn’t cross the soft core porn line, everyone has seen it happen before, and it’s not pretty.
Rule # 1 meet people and have a good time– thats what we’re there for right? If not you should probably go to the YMCA or something.
A final message from a friend of mine who works as a pool manager is don’t throw balls all the way across the pool because they hit people and pool staff has to deal with complaints, playing catch is completely different than whipping a ball across the pool and hitting an 8 year old girl in the face and the parents getting pissed.
