Let’s get completely disobedient for this week’s Throwback Thursday. Here are all the things your mother didn’t want you to do: eat sour stuff, eat pure sugar, and then bounce around while watching filthy cartoons. Sounds like heaven right? Let’s get into it.
Warheads
It’s surprisingly hard to find a commercial for Warheads – the ultimate sour candy. And when I think about it, I don’t remember ever seeing a plug for them on TV, even though they were insanely popular for a time. That was just pure grassroots power. Kids used to seriously hurt themselves eating these, and I know why: if you pop the whole thing in your mouth, the intense sourness is quick to fizzle out and just leave sugary goodness. No harm, no foul. All the kids I knew who were too chickenstuff to eat the whole thing licked it over a longer period of time, preserving the sourness, and burning their tongues in the process. Bunch of dumbasses.
Dr. Dreadful
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfs8hVNvVik[/youtube]
Looking back on this commercial, now I totally understand why my parents wouldn’t let me get a Dr. Dreadful Food Lab. I don’t understand how it actually works, but I can safely assume that the end result is pure sugar. Monster skin, fruity brains, and edible creepy crawlers definitely isn’t the best way to get parents on board for a toy. Of course, you always want most what someone says you can’t have, so I made sure I knew at least one kid with a Dr. Dreadful. Sugar rushes galore!
Ren & Stimpy
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKcIo-oNqeI[/youtube]
It’s about time that we got to what might be the most disgustingly vulgar children’s cartoon ever. Okay, South Park is definitely worse, but it’s definitely not made for kids. Ren & Stimpy was a staple Nickelodeon show in the early to mid 90’s, and featured total chaos, graphic violence, disturbing nonsense, insomnia, pissing, vomit, tooth pulling, implied sexuality, a toy called “log,” and a man with a face made of toast who flew around backwards. Man, no wonder our generation is so totally fudgeed up.
Bonus video time. I think you deserve a little Powdered Toast Man in your life:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4e2boN_rBU[/youtube]
